User:OSync/Sandbox 2

Theo, the Bald, the Count of Blah and Champagne lived a long time ago, even before you were born. I don't care how old you are.

the Bald

People aren't generally given suffixes for their names until after they die. So "Augustus" (for example) was known as "that little rat, Octavian" when he was alive. He only became "august" after he died and just lay there. Same with "Alfred the Great." When he was fleeing Saxons in the Welch swamp he was probably known as "Alfred, the not-so-great" or (at best) "Alfred, the Swamp King." He became "great" only after getting his kingdom back a few minutes before he died of swamp fever.

In Theo's case, he had a fine head of hair right up until he underwent chemo. He looked like Elvis in his heyday, but did they remember that? No!

Blah

"Blah", of course, refers to a very dull region of France. Can't really think of anything to say about it. That's the problem. If you want a good time, go to Paris, or even, Calais. Forget Blah!

The "and Champagne"

Some people think that "Champagne" was a region in France where they produced wine? What nonsense! Get a lot of urban myths on the web nowdays. And that's what uncyclopedia is here to counteract. Have you ever heard of an Earl of Asti Spumanti? Or a Duke of Dry Sac? Come on! Well, we assume that it was his wife though it's hard to tell at this late date. Kind of like "The Captain and Tenille." "Count of Blah and Champagne." Does that make sense? If so, you've been reading Uncyclopedia far too long!