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King A'e'i'o'u was the first king of the Ha'wa'i'ians. He achieved this by uniting the five islands, a'a'a, e'e'e, i'i'i,o'o'o and u'u'u. By force, of course.

When Roger Bacon came by in his fleet, he introduced these backward people to consonants. "These are consonants," he said, holding one up. "'uh," they replied. "No," he replied, you mean, "Duh." They killed him, roasted him and nearly ate him, but he was rescued, too late to prevent his death, but well before the main course.

This is where we get the expression, "Roasting his bacon."

One wonders what would have happened had the first European discoverer been a Czckslvkn or a Srb.