User:Ninjaphobos

“I find his very existence offensive, and yet I'm afraid to actually say it... *dies*”

~ Oscar Wilde on Ninjaphobos

“pwnt”

~ Ninjaphobos on response to Oscar Wilde

Birth

Unlike most people, that man who was to become the Ninja Phobos was not born by budding off a previous ninja or by splitting open his father's head and ushering forth an age of terror on mankind. Instead, Chase was born of woman, naturally and without pain relievers, much to the amazement of all around. He was born purple from lack of oxygen and turned yellow from jaundice. He screamed for the first 3 months of his life and then fell silent as the pains that had taken him finally were taken away themselves. The rest of his infanthood was lived in relative peace.

Childhood

Early Education

Before studying to become a ninja and minor Greek god, Chase spent his life in intense intellectual education. By the age of 5 he had taught himself to read and, with encouragement from relatives, increased his abilities beyond that of a normal child. At age 6 he was tested for entering the public education system, and the system was found inadequate to provide for his needs. They placed him 2 grades ahead with a +3 grade reading assignment. After quickly becoming bored with this system, he was tested and accepted for entrance into an accelerated program. At this point, he began the transformation into ninja.

Ninja Training

It was at this point in his life that he joined the Boy Scouts of America, a well-known ninjitsu preparation society. Its high morals and ideals are very similar to that of the ninja and many consider it a westernized version of the cult. His name in this society was Sideshow Bob, after the popular Simpson's character. He later gained entrance into the Boy Scout Honor's Society the Order of the Arrow. In this group, he worked through the ranks of Ordeal and Brotherhood membership, taking on the roll of Spirit of the Fire and later of Kitchkinet, the Guide, and Nutiket, the Guard, in the Ordeal and Brotherhood ceremonies. Finally, after much toil and service to the Order, he was given the right to join the Honored Vigilant. As a Vigil Honor member, a name from the Lenni Lenape Delaware Indian tribe was bestowed upon him: Auchpiquan Lekhiket, which means Viola-playing Secretary. However, let it be known that at no time did Chase ever play the viola...he played the violin...it is a play on words...or perhaps a mistake on the part of his sponsor...no one can say which is the true purpose of the name.

Early Adulthood

After entering university, having already been given Ninja status, Ninja Chase sought out for a piece of divinity. Drawing on the book The Sacred Law of the Red Planet by Hank Murphy, the ninja slowly became Phobos, Knight of Mars. It was at this moment in time that he became NinjaPhobos.

Ninja Status

NinjaPhobos currently kicks the crap out of bad guys, other ninjas, your mom, kitten huffers, and small children who look at him funny.