User:Mrs-Bertram-Keg-water
Me me me me me !
An article which I am working on (SOON IT SHALL BE UNLEASHED!)It will replace the crappy chuck norris page that exists now.
Chuck Norris: Systems Analyst.[edit | edit source]
Chuck norris is a systems analyst from Hull he likes computers, they don’t bite like people.
Chuck can’t understand why his co-workers avoid him. He’s tried to communicate, but no one seems interested. Chuck brought in some photos of his new roof tiling to amaze everyone. But an incosiderate person put them through the shredder when his back was turned, then his supivisor told him to get back to work, and detucted two days wages. Chucks supervisor Mike doesn’t seem to like him, he puts him on the graveyard shift every week, and says he’s not allowed to use the coffee machine. Chuck must have only five hundred grains of coffie in his drink, or his day will be ruined,soiled forever. Chuck has seen Mike pour sand in his coffee while everyone else laughed. Chuck feels lonley.
Chuck doesn’t have a cubicle like everyone else, Mike makes him work in the broom cupboard.
The cubicle outside the broom cupboard belongs to Philip. Philip works in accounts. Chuck tried to introduce himeslf to Philip. He tapped him on the shoulder and said ‘I like numbers too!’ Philip said he was ‘busy’.
Chuck tried to strike up a conversation about carpets with Phillip, but Phillip had an urgent meeting. Chuck watched Phillip walk away, stand next to the watercooler and speak to someone else.
At home.[edit | edit source]
When he gets home, chuck likes nothing more than to eat his favorite food, wetabix. If he’s feeling outragous he sometimes sprinkles half a teaspoon of sugar on the top, and giggles to himself.
Mr. Norris occasionally wishes he could get back at that guy who mugged him on one occasion, but realized such dreams are fruitless. Now chuck just dreams of the new fridge he’s saving up to buy, or pidgins. Chuck collects fridges, he keeps them in the cellar. Chuck was on his way to buy a new fridge when the men robbed him. He still has flashbacks. They waved a machette in his face and took his wallet, then his shoes, then they made him take off his trousers, and burn them with his own lighter. How they laughed as they poured the can of larger over his head afterwards, then reported him to the police as a drunk.
Chuck dosen’t listen to music, he thinks it’s irritating and destracting noise. However chuck does like to record the sound of air conditioning, and then play it back to himself when he wants to relax. Sometims he listens to the microwave, he’s particluarly fond of the ping sound at the end which tells him that the food is ready. Chuck only eats microwave food. All other food is not quite bland and processed enough for Chuck.
On weekends.[edit | edit source]
Chuck has lots of hobbies. He likes the colour grey, and weekends in the country with his banoculars, spotting different types of clouds. Chuck has a notebook, in it he writes detailed descriptions of each cloud he sees, and uses his stopwatch to estimate it’s speed and direction.
