User:MrX/Bailieborough
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| MrX/Bailieborough | |
|---|---|
 | |
| Motto: Fuck off | |
| Official nickname | The Fields |
| Official language(s) | PTSD Radiation Talk, Gibberish |
| Currency | Grass |
| Population | 50 |
Bailieborough (Irish: Coill an Chollaigh meaning "Don't go near") is a desolate, backward wasteland located in the arse of Co. Cavan, Republic of Ireland.
Due to the town locals backward mentality, the town is often regarded as a national embarrassment to the country and is shamed as such.
History[edit | edit source]
The town was established during the late 1990's by a man named "Bee" Backwards. A Meath man, he set up the town as he was sick of the change in Irish society and established the town to attract other like-minded people like him, and to keep things the same all the time. However, this turned out to be a complete disaster, as he unintentionally attracted bigots, farmers, and other disillusioned groups to the town. As a result, he shamefully moved away.
During the early 2000's however, the rest of the country declared war against Bailieborough in an attempt to modernise it. They did this by soaring house prices in Dublin and attracting Dubliners to house prices in Bailieborough. A war ensued between the locals and the Dubs (or blow-ins as locals refer them to as). There were clashes between the two sides with the locals using tractors and pitchforks and the Dubs snorting cocaine to increase their super powers.
The war was declared over in 2008 and there was a begrudging concillation between the two groups. Instead of physical fighting, the locals and Dubs now like to verbally badmouth each other.
The locals like to refer to the Dubs to terms such as jackeen, blow-ins, the blacks of Ireland and druggies.
While the Dubs refer to the locals to terms such as farmers, tight Cavan bastards and culthies.
Economy[edit | edit source]
Bailieborough is known for its economy which mostly consists of ... nothing.
The fields are too rough and barren to grow anything worthwhile so the farmers usually spend their day drowning their sorrows at the pubs. The pubs however, have generated money from other peoples impoverished state and they are often the biggest contributor to the local economy. The local medical centre is also a big contributor as well, mostly from treating people during the war.
The Tesco located just outside the town is often considered the 'deluxe' supermarket in the area mainly because it is the only one. However, because of the feral reputation the town has got, outsiders generally avoid the town. So it is usually the locals who spend their money on uncultured food like ham sandwhiches, and potatoes in Tesco's.
The main street of the town usually consists of pubs, bookies, pubs, charity shops and more pubs.
There is a leisure centre located up the town. A swimming pool, gym and jacuzzi are included. The centre is popular with all the Dubs. However, the Bailieboroughans are too poor to afford such a luxury after spending all their money on drink.