User:MrKidman
Mr Kidman (Born Mr Kidman on someday of some month in 19 something-a-rather) is an international jet-setter, playboy and monkey kidnapper.
Despite the popular belief, Mr Kidman was not born in New Zealand and in fact does not recognize that pokey little island as a country.
Mr Kidman spent his youth raising and training animals, his favorite pets during this time was his beloved Tawny Owl (which everyone knows don’t eat Monkeys) and an extremely rare Bunyip called Michael. Mr Kidman trained Michael to do the moon-walk which started an international craze.
There have been many documentaries created about Mr Kidman's extraordinary life, including:
- Animal House
- Weekend at Bernie's
- The Breakfast Club
- Aliens
- Back to the Future (parts 1 and 3 only)
During his time in 1885 Mr Kidman was a successful country and western singer, and has double platinum hits with the songs:
- I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.
- Get Your Tongue Outta My Mouth 'Cause I'm Kissing You Goodbye.
- If The Phone Don't Ring, It's Me (the lyrics were a little obscure because no one knew what a telephone was, but the melody was intoxicating).
Mr Kidman was responsible for faking the sputnik launch and orbit, and was the command module pilot for the Apollo 11 lunar landing.
It is widely known that the only person that Chuck Norris is scared of is Mr Kidman. The following have been incorrectly attributed to Mr Norris, but in fact refer to Mr Kidman:
- Mr Kidman can boot Windows Vista under 2 seconds.
- Mr Kidman didn't evolve from anything, he just simply appeared one night
- B. A. Baracus was never afraid of flying! He was just worried that he would bump into Mr Kidman and have nowhere to run!
- Mr Kidman once punched the ground to stop an earthquake. The resulting aftershock caused the BP oil spill
