User:Mr-ex777/Candy Crush saga
Candy Crush Saga also known as I wanna be the facebook, Candy jews saga and Homestuck + I wanna be the guy + bejeweled is the newest contangious meme on Failbook and is a work of Faggotry, Jew gold farming and Contangiousness, thus putting it into the same level of faggotry as homestuck, farmville, Advice dogs and call of duty. Watch out, it is able to spread though entire IRL communities under less then 3 days, although it is less likely to spread onto the internet who wants to play stuff like Call of Duty and My little pony instead of this queer ass shit.
Gameplay[edit | edit source]
This is just like many Match-em ups on iphone/android such as bejeweled, diamond dash and over 9000 of copies of the same game, but it has certain limits such as a move limit and a time limit, and you acheive a certain goal, such as a number of scores, putting chesnuts and cherries to the bottom, and breaking jelly which usually has at least 5 layers. As a result a typical level consists of breaking at least 300 layers of jelly total and bringing 4 cherries and 6 chesnuts within 20 moves.
If you think this is not bad enough, In later levels there is an horrifying abomination known as a Chocolate Factory Which quickly spreads Chocolate into nearby blocks and is indestructible. If they seal the top of the grid they will block the flow of the blocks, and they will most likely block an ares where you cannot reach, in which if this happens, consider yourself dead, because this living nightmare will spread itself within the entire grid just like wildfire.
As a result, a typical level looks like this;
Think this is bad? You only have 5 lives, and after you used up those lives (which you will), you need to beg your friends to send you a life (which is impossible because you do not have any friends ), or wait a straight 150 minutes in order to get them back. Mankind has no hope.
This game wants your jew gold[edit | edit source]
Seriously, it wants to. First, all the levels after level 35 are fucking impossible, and trying to complete them is just like trying to cure AIDS or furfaggotry. As a result, you will most likely go to the yeti shopand buy one of their Charms, Which enables you to have 8 lives, stop time, and even paint stripes on blocks, so you have an higher chance of winning. However, even imbeciles know all you have to do is to clear the data and you will have 5 lives again, so you don't need to beg lives. Of course if you are an apple fanboy this won't save you my dear.
Good luck paying att least 60 dollars just to go through a single level, or get 8 lives so you can die more.
How to pwn candy crash faggots[edit | edit source]
- Tell them that they had been entered a state of severe game addiction and must be lynched.
- occupy their android/iphone.
- uninstall their game.
- Say that angry birds/mushroom garden is way better than this shit.
- Tell them that they will never beat this game, because they are a bunch of asian mothers.
