User:Mr-ex777/A pile of dog turd/3
“The drink isn't the problem, its the fucking Quaars!”
“Not one but two QUAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRSSSSSS!!!”
Media: The_Quaars_The_Problem.ogg
| Quaars | ||||||||||||||||||||
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| Scientific Classification | ||||||||||||||||||||
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Quaars are a subspecies of the human race similar in physical appearance but have a huge difference in their mental structure. They are the true gays of the gay community. They are born quaar and die quaar! A huge extermination is under way in Ireland and many other countries to try and eliminate this pest as a lesser bisexual variant is breeding with other humans.
Populations[edit | edit source]
- Ireland: 583,000
- United Kingdom: 5,291,000
- Germany: 18,239,000
- South Korea: 32,000,000
- China: 46,000,000
- Quaarland: 82,920,000
Physical Appearance[edit | edit source]
Quaars look exactly like Humans but inside of hands they have hooks instead so they can dig them into other people's backs and start riding! Their 'penises' are a bit smaller then a normal human's and are not used for reproduction. They are 'natural tools of pleasure'. They make babies by planting Quaar seeds.
Uses[edit | edit source]
Although declared a pest by many people there are some uses for them including fertilizer. Which many Irish people do by tossing neutralized Quaars into wood chippers. Bred Quaars are used to power cars. They recharge by riding other Quaars! Other then that they make great fuel for a fire.
Gay Scale[edit | edit source]
Quaars break the gay scale and if ever measured would cause a hole that would split the universe in half. They dress like mimes and cowboys in pink and sometimes unexpectantly turn up in bars and chase all the customers out causing many bars to carry AK-47s, pipe bombs, anti-gay spray, priests and sawn off shotguns.
Religion[edit | edit source]
Quaars preach a religion known as Norrisism headed by the Godly Gay. His representative on earth is his gay Norrisness Pope David Norris the I who has been pope for the last 729 years and has been preceded by 4 other popes, Pope J.B the I (Was raped to death), Pope J.B II (J.B's clone, was killed after experiencing a huge orgasm, the only female Quaar), Pope Callen I (Half Quaar) and Pope Mao I(Quaar reincarnation of Mao Zedong).
History[edit | edit source]
In sometime between the year of Norris 666,666,666,666,666,666 BC and the year of the Fake Heretic 0 AD a man called Tinny Condom who at the time was the world's gayest man and a scientist went to bed one night and had a dream, he was dreaming of the Quaars that the god Norris the Great had talked about. It turned out he was the gay messiah and the inventor of the microscopic and retarded condom hence his name. He thought many of the Quaar God and converted many millions of humans to Norrisism. Finally when there was more then 50 million The God Norris turned the 666,666,666,666,666,666 year old Tinny Condom into the first Quaar and then within a night he gave birth to the Nation of Quaars in the shortest birth in the known universe. The God Norris then physically changed all the Quaars to have hooks and wings for hands. Tinny Condom was killed when Jesus Christ fell the third time on the ground but he crushed him.