User:Mnbvcxz/Abe
Honest Abe (c 1810-1865) was a mulatto slave actor of the mid 19th century, noted for his unbelievable ugliness. Also known as "Uncle Abe", "Old Uncle Abe", "Abe the Ape", "Ugly Abe", and "Boy", Honest Abe, like most slaves, had no legal name, and so always went by his stage name. When asked by a reporter what his real name was, Honest Abe, "What da Massah done says it is, sir."
Early Life[edit | edit source]
Honest Abe was born into slavery in the state of Kentucky, around the year 1810. He was the son of a relatively light skinned slave mother and an unknown father. A particularly ugly child, Young Abe's early years were rather uneventful, dividing his time picking cotton and getting flogged.
Career in Show business[edit | edit source]
In 1833, Abe caught the attention of a traveling showman looking for Negros to add to his freak show. The showman immediately bought Abe from his owner. This event was recorded in Abe's memoirs, "Da Life of Honest Abe":
"Boy, come here!" yelled the overseer, "No, not you the ugly one! No, not you, the really ugly one."
"Yessuh, what is it suh?" inquired Abe.
"Boy, you is done been sold to this gentleman," replied the overseer.
"Please massah, don't send me away massah, Please massah!" exclaimed Abe as he fell down at the feet of the overseer.
"Boy, stop your whining!" shouted the overseer as he whipped the insolent slave, "Or I'll give you something to whine about.
Shackles were placed on Abe's hands as he was taken away from the plantation never to return again.
"Boy, you sure is one ugly critter," said the showman.
"Dat I is, Massah, dat I is," replied Abe.
"Boy, what is your name?" asked the showman.
"We slaves ain't allowed to have names, massah, do old massah say giving us names make us "uppity". Only white folk, pets, and da livestock allowed to have names," replied Abe.
"Then what do they call ya, boy?" asked the showman.
"'Boy', or 'da ugly one', or 'da really ugly one' if da other ugly slaves be around, or 'da really really ugly one' sometimes," replied Abe.
"Boy, you are now called "Abe the Ape". Your job will be to walk in this here cage mak'in animal noises, shak'en the bars on occasion, and bitin' the head of chickens," replied da showman.
And so, Honest Abe began his long and distinguished career as a slide show attraction. Like most actors, Abe started out at the bottom. In his case, he spent 4 years as a side show exhibit, traveling throughout Kentucky, Tennessee, and Missouri . During which time, he was permanently kept in a locked cage and was fed nothing but chicken heads.
New Owner[edit | edit source]
During the panic of 1837, the circus which owned honest Abe went bankrupt, and Abe was sold to a new owner, John Lincoln. Abe went back to his original trade; however, over the past 4 years he had most of his cotton picking skills. John Lincoln tried several methods to jog Abe's memory, from flogging, to more flogging, and even yet more flogging, but to no avail. Finally, John Lincoln realized that he would need to use less traditional means, and decided to ask Abe why he couldn't pick cotton well.
"Boy, come here!" shouted John Lincoln. "Yessah, what is it sah?" asked Abe. "Boy, I know you is do dam ugly to be a house slave," said John Lincoln. "Dat I iz massah, dat I iz," replied Abe. "Why, then boy, can't ya pick this here cotton," asked John Lincoln. "Massa, my old massah done kept me in a cage, a long time. Done made me bite the heads of chickens, and da old massah say I was called, "Abe da Ape," replied Abe.