User:Maniac1075/PunkBuster
When there's something strange happening during your online play, who you gonna complain to? Who can help? Who can possibly do something about this? And most importantly, who gives a flying fuck? Well, the answer is Punkbusters! They are a group of anti-hackers who are against hacking, even though they have to hack the hacks of the hack that is being used to hack games. Makes sense? Think of it like that health sugar stuff, "Splenda"; it's better than sugar, and healthier than sugar, but it's not sugar, but it tastes like sugar, because it's made from sugar.
Now that we understand the concept, let's delve deeper into the world of PunkBuster.
What is PunkBuster?[edit | edit source]
So you want to know what PunkBuster is? Or do you already know? Well, if you already know, why are you reading this? Go away. Now, for those of you who do not know, Punkbuster is an anti-cheating patch you can download. You may have found yourself playing an online game and giving yourself a hernia while trying to beat that 11 year old Asian kid who has been pwning your ass for hours now. You continue to try to destroy him in the game, but he has used a patch to enhance his skills and whatnot, leaving you to have a whine and a cry to your mommy that you could not beat the little emo fucker online, and that he has pissed you off so much you just want to go to bed and fantasize about meeting that kid face to face and going ninja-schizoid on his cheating little ass.
Well, you can fantasize all you want, but the hackers of the world are not that good yet. But in the meantime, you can log onto www.PunkBusters.cunt and download patches for your online system that will not allow hackers who have modified themselves to play with you. Think of it like downloading a patch that while you play with the other kids in the sandpit, your mommy watches out for the bigger kids and keeps them away from coming over and kicking sand in your eye.
PunkBuster: Ballbreaker Edition[edit | edit source]
This version of the PunkBuster moves away from online gaming, and into the home to deal with real life issues relating to cheating husbands. In common cases, wives download the anti-cheat patch for their husband to make sure that when they "don't put out" the husband won't stray. It is quite a clever little device. It hacks into the brain by threatening to terminate the penile operating system by erasing it from the system alltogether if it is caught performing any illegal operations.
PunkBusting[edit | edit source]
Anyone who plays online games, or has a cheating spouse, will be happy to know that the PunkBuster is easy to download and install. Simply download the program, and have you and a friend install it to the original game's directory on your hard drive, then both of you piss on it at the same time. But for the love of god, don't cross the streams when you urinate on it... It won't cause a chain reaction resulting in the space time continuum causing a major paradox that destroys the whole universe, but getting pee on your shoes is yucky.
