User:MK/Top 100 Sex Positions

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Top 100 Sex Positions[edit | edit source]

This is the official list of Uncyclopedia's Top 100 Sex Positions. And yes, I've done all of them. I might even have come up with some of them as well, that's how much sex I have.

100-91[edit | edit source]

100.
 Missionary
"yeah, yeah, YEAH!" "Frank, it's not even in..."
99.
 Doggystyle
This is great and all, but I wish she'd stop barking...
98.
 The did-you-really-think-I-was-gonna-list-"normal"-ones?
Jiminy Christmas man, does ChatGPT have to remind your heart to beat?
97.
 The Peter Parker
While hanging from a cum strand, proceed to have sex as usual.
96.
 The Gas Chamber
Tie someone up tight, then proceed to irradiate the room with farts.
95.
 The Golden Snitch
Find snitch. Shove the snitch repeatedly up the ass of the 'special' person.
94.
 NYC Plumber
While chanting racist Italian phrases, repeatedly jump with fist raised into your partner's genitals.
93.
 The Coffee Grinder
Grind aggressively while twisting in circles until you have become an entangled entity.
92.
 The Benjamin Franklin
Place an ass onto your eyes while role-playing that you are Ben Franklin inventing the bifocals.
91.
 The Clam Chowdah
Using a spoon, (or fork), enjoy some literal piss nice soup from your partner!

90-81[edit | edit source]

90.
 The Kamehameha
Utilizing the power of your dragon "balls", powerfully blast your partner with your secret sauce.
89.
 The ICE Arrest
Must be done with a latina/o. Kneel down on their back, and proceed as per usual.
88.
 The Vietnam Memorial
87.
 The Jorker
86.
 The Jonkler
85.
 The Candlestick Maker
84.
 The Melting Snowman
83.
 The Air Fryer
82.
 The Honkytonk Hero
81.
 The Monday Morning

80-71[edit | edit source]

80.
 The Anne Frank
79.
 The Microsoft Office 2010
78.
 The Peenor Maximus
77.
 The Peenor Minimus
76.
 The T-Swizzler
75.
 The Chief's Tight End
74.
 The Colonizer
73.
 The James Cameron's 2025 Avatar: Fire and Ash
72.
 The Spunkbob Squarepants
71.
 The Sean Combs

70-61[edit | edit source]

70.
 The Roblox
69.
 The Sixty Nine
68.
 The Cheese and Crackers
67.
 The Hydroelectric Powerplant
66.
 The James Gunn
65.
 The Heat Seeking Missile
64.
 The Gaza Strip
63.
 The Mars Lander
62.
 The Spy
61.
 The Tenderizer

60-51[edit | edit source]

60.
 From the Top Turnbuckle
59.
 The Charioteer
58.
 The KFC Special Spice
57.
 The Gandhi
56.
 The Financial Advisor
55.
 The Ass-to-Ass Resuscitation
54.
 The Watcher
53.
 The Self-Inflicted Gunshot Wound
52.
 The Beat Around the Bush
51.
 The Amazonian Explorer

50-41[edit | edit source]

50.
 The Got-Your-Dick
49.
 The Got-Your-Vava
48.
 The Magician
47.
 The Prison Shower
46.
 The Prison Pickpocket
45.
 The Blindfolded Majestic Butt Detector
44.
 The Spiderweb Simulator
43.
 The Yogurt Emulsifier
42.
 The Thunderdome
41.
 The Pineapple

40-31[edit | edit source]

40.
 The Lemonade
39.
 The 12 Days of Christmas
38.
 The Hitler
37.
 The Trashcan
36.
 The Hong Kong Fire of 2025
35.
 The Retro
34.
 The One-Legged Elephant
33.
 The Expedition
32.
 The Water Balloon
31.
 The Acid-Filled Water Balloon

30-21[edit | edit source]

30.
 The Cricket
29.
 The Rocking Chair
28.
 The Ship Un-Sinker
27.
 The Barber of Seville
26.
 The Government Mandated Penis Extension Committee
25.
 The Donald Trump
24.
 The Joe Biden
23.
 The Yodeler
22.
 The Odyssey
21.
 The Eudipus Cycle

20-11[edit | edit source]

20.
 The Bicycle
19.
 The Bi-cycle
18.
 The Popsicle
17.
 The Elevator
16.
 The Hiroshima
15.
 The Peppa pig
14.
 The Don Quixote
13.
 The NY Yankees
12.
 The Monkey
11.
 The ISS

10-1[edit | edit source]

10.
 The Sharpie
9.
 The Stoner
8.
 The Baby Initializer
7.
 The Ball Crank
6.
 The Cow's Tongue
5.
 The Auzzie Anthem
4.
 The Sausage-Based Enema
★3.
 The Politician
★2.
 The Trojan Horse
★1.
 The Unmentionable Act
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