User:Lord Assbutt the Fourth/Couch farting

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Jump to navigation Jump to search

Couch farting is the ancient art of sitting on a couch all day long and releasing various fecal matter (gaseous or otherwise) onto it. It gained popularity after the invention of television but has existed for a much longer time.

History[edit | edit source]

Although not much is known about the history, the first recorded case was of Sir Fartticus of Hungary who was famous for sitting on his royal seat and making loud anal noises. Later on it spread to various other European countries and by the 19th century it had become an almost worldwide practice. Many famous historical figures such as Adolf Hitler and Josef Stalin are known to have been avid couch farters.

Technique and theory[edit | edit source]

The artist sits down on his sofa (with some optional entertainment, though it could be claimed by some that the act itself is a source of entertainment). He then proceeds to have varioius food matter including but not limited to canned beans, Assburgers and red chillies until their anus begins belching forth gas. The gas and other matter (such as dust and fluids) gets compressed between the sofa fabric and get ingrained in the material's structure. With the passage of months and years the sofa becomes a living display of the artists efforts. Samples of his art may be experienced by bringing your nose close to the sofa and quickly hitting said furniture. The sofa may also be sold in art galleries at the discretion of the artist or it may be left in it's original location for future generations of artists to add to and improve.

Future of couch farting[edit | edit source]

The future of couch farting seems to be bright because of the increasing amount of time people are spending on their couches due tp improvements in modern entertainment technology. Some artists are also endeavouring experimental changes such as peeing over the fabric, etc. Couch farting will continue to a creative and influential field of art.