User:Llama-Llover/sandbox
In ancient times, men lived in caves. Every day, they set out with their crude, primitive cave weapons and risked their little cave lives to feed their little cave families. These men were know as "Cave Men" and they (surprisingly enough) lived in caves.
However, that little tidbit of history has practically nothing to do with this article. Men today live in houses, not caves! With some tools, supplies, and this book, you will learn to create your very own home projects, and transform your ordinary house into an ordinary house with crappy projects tacked onto it.
What's that? You don't know how? Well it's a good thing you bought this book, then. Let's get started.
Chapter 1: Preparing Yourself...[edit | edit source]
Physically[edit | edit source]
Get a jogging coach.
Mentally[edit | edit source]
Check yourself into a psychiatric insitute. It's the only way. Listen, your family is worried about you. Your mom cries almost every night. We just feel like it's getting to be a little too much. We only want to help you, don't you see that? We're just worried about you.
Chapter 2: Room Decor[edit | edit source]
Chapter 3: Bathrooms[edit | edit source]
Toilets[edit | edit source]
Hygeine[edit | edit source]
Chapter 4: The Outdoors[edit | edit source]
Building a deck[edit | edit source]
There's nothing like adding a deck to transform an ordinary home into a home attached to mass of inexpertly nailed wood. And just imagine the family fun you'll have this summer with a deck!
"Come on, kids!" you'll call to your children. "Let's go out on the deck and have some fun!"
"Shut up," they'll gaily reply, because they are engrossed in a Playstation game that they have been playing for nine consecutive weeks.
"Okay then!" you'll say, stepping out onto your new deck. "You kids are just going to miss out on all the AAAIIIEEE." This is the noise you'll make when you pick up a splinter the size of a harpoon.