User:Ljlego/Metaphor

This gentleman attempted to use a particularly delicate metaphor without proper training. The fire of shame burns away his arrogance.

Metaphor. A fruitful harvest of pomposity rivaled by nothing, and the salt on the potato chips of life. Not the heart of literature, but rather the lower intestine of good writing. A veritable prostate gland of pure stimulation, the metaphor exists as a reminder of the eternal existence we all lead. Except, of course, better. Because it's a metaphor.

Genesis, a humbling ocean of love and love lost

Two bodies, the ubiquitous Romeo and the originality-deficient Juliet, live for one another. In a flash, the blink of an eye, two nubile young lovers made magic. Looking on was Frank, the one on whom we spit the proverbial phlegm of our cosmic post-nasal drip. Frank's use of colorful linguistic music to forgo apprehension by the authorities grew in gastronomical measures until the obese wordplay that was his conveyance laid the seeds for metaphor.

These seeds, lovingly nurtured by the gentle hands of time, then tempest-tossed by the very same hands during a particularly nasty case of pre-menstrual syndrome, eventually grew to be a small root of something equally small, the mustard plant of metaphor. Somewhat paradoxically, the seeds were then harvested from the fully grown mustard metaphor plant to make a delicious puree of prepositional phrases and linking verbs, to be spread on the hot dog of literature and promptly eaten and regurgitated.

Copyright scandal, the storm of strife raining upon the paradise of illegality

Yet, suddenly, a cloud appears over the Edenic garden of metaphor plants. A shadow is cast upon the paradise now lost, the stratus cloud of frivolity casting eternal darkness upon the ever-bountiful harvest. The American Justice System of the American Justice System approaches with a lawsuit, as the weeping angels fall to their knees. Satan rises from the depths of hell, to place upon these innocents a most trying burden: an intellectual property lawsuit.

Two young lovers, aged by the sands of time and the cigarette smoke of life, emerge from the chaos to gain royalties for the convention spurred by their conception's moment. The torrent of capitalistic interests drowns the common folk to whom the metaphor immediately attached. Only by the hand of God are the people spared from damnation, and the deadlocked panel serves their purpose well.