User:Lizbink/How To Be The Greatest Cyclist in the Cosmos
Disclaimer: Not to be confused with Hitchcyclists Guide to the Cosmos (So long and thanks for all the cake), unless you love confusion. Then you only have yourself to blame
Greatest:[edit | edit source]
- In the Press the mostest.
premise - ideally win but more successfully karate kick a fan (Bart Wellens) pinch a bum (Peter Sagan) or get hit by a team car, fly through the air and display your barbed wire shredded arse (Jonny Hoogerland) (arse pic)
Cyclist:[edit | edit source]
- on two wheels, no motor, occasional batteries
unless you are Cancellara and have a motor in your downtube (pic) or an elephant on a monocycle (pachyderm exceptions apply)
Cosmos:[edit | edit source]
- everything that ever was, ever is and ever will be and extra stuff even.
like that stuff which fills up your belly button (pic of black hole)
The Carl/Peter Sagan dichotomy:[edit | edit source]
- there is no dichotomy, they are one and the same. Although some disagree. Which presents a....oh nevermind.
brief explanation of Carl and Pete and who has better hair. (Pic of a nice nebula to link the hair-cosmology blah.)
Anomalies:[edit | edit source]
- sometimes one leg is longer than another.
Weird looking successful cyclists and why weird predominates. In fact anomalies are not anomalous. (pic Fausto naked)
Shrodinger's Cyclist:[edit | edit source]
- To ride or not to ride, or both at once. That is the quantum question.
Quantum theory (phone number of therapist who likes cats) (pic of cardboard box)
General Ridiculosity:[edit | edit source]
- This is a very serious topic. Nothing to see here. Stop sniggering, I have not finished editing!
To be decided at the last minute if and when I finish editing.
Summary and conclusion, including The Answer to Life, Crank length and Everything:[edit | edit source]
- strictly confidential or it may blow your mind in nanometres
- To be posted in a later edition. Brace yourselves and send cash in advance.
Tempting marketing (pic of huge shiny ring!)