User:Kippy/Everybody dies

Hey man, did you see that new movie? It was pretty badass. ...What? No, I wouldn't tell you the ending! Come on, I'm not insensitive. It was a cool movie, though. It has a lot of plot twists and so forth. Oh, and everybody dies. Oh shit, I'm sorry dude! I meant to say that, uh, everybody lives! Yeah! No, I was kidding.

Halloween

Yeah, everybody dies. Everyone. They're all summarily stabbed by the killer after he gets that knife. Man, they never should've given him that knife because, as I said before, everybody dies. I think it had something to do with the serial killer.

Dr. Strangelove

Everyone dies. I'm serious: everyone. The bombs go off and they can't stop 'em. They tried to stop em, but they couldn't, 'cuz everybody dies. I think it had something to do with that goofy guy in the wheelchair.

Platoon

You know that war movie from the 80's? Guess what? Everybody dies. They just *POOF* up and died. It wasn't surprising, especially when the main characer started yelling: "EVERYBODY'S DEAD and/or DYING!" I think it had to do with the amount of bullets in the air, and the fact that it's a war movie.

Silence of the Lambs

You know that new horror/thriller? Yeah, well everyone dies. Turns out they all get eaten by that one silent lamb. Yeah, that's right: the cannibalistic one. He eats 'em. He just *BAM* eats em all up. It's not really surprising, considering the theme of the movie. It's not surprising at all, really. I think it had something to do with that quiet sheep: I didn't trust him.

A Nice Cup of Tea And A Sit Down

You know that new British documentary? Everybody dies. Yeah, everybody just wanted a cup of tea, but they died. They all died. That's all they wanted: some nice tea and a sit down. However, they all died. THEY. ALL. DIED. I think there was something in either the thing they sat down on or the tea that was in that nice cup.

My Best Friend's Wedding

You know that new romantic comedy? Turns out: everybody dies. Yeah, they just couldn't take it anymore. They're best friend and a wedding? They just died. They all just *WAM* up and died. I think it had to do with the best friend. That person was no friend at all, seeing as how everybody dies.

Mystic Pizza

Yeah, I don't know what that was about, however I do know that everybody croaked. Everyone croaked: They all died. I believe I saw a pizza in that movie, and something about mysticism. Anyway, they all died. I think it had something to do with the pizza and it's ingredients. If there was a best friend in this movie, they did a horrible job. No, I'm not getting carried away, it's just that everybody died!

The Importance of Being Earnest

You know that movie version of Wilde's play? It changes the ending a bit, can you guess how? Yeah! Everybody fuckin' dies. It's a good romantic comedy for the first 90%, but then the guns come out. I think it has to do with 50 Cent's insistence that the movie be violent. I don't know why they listened to him, he's only in that movie for the last scene... the one where everybody dies. I think it had to do with 50 Cent's involvement in the movie.

Everybody Poops

You know that new documentary on PBS? Well... uh, you get the idea.