User:King samwich/patellaology
Patellaology is the worship of the almighty Saint patella, ruler of all cartilage and knee caps.
Saint Patella[edit | edit source]
He (yes, IT is a HE) has existed for 6 months or so from the time of this writing (may, 2008), so he is EXTREMELY ancient and powerful, and should be approached with extreme caution. His minions are sharks, simply because they have a skeleton of cartilage. The sharks are coming to take over the world, because Dr Evil has given them a weapon called a laser-taped-to-head. The only problem is they can't breathe air. So. That sort of sets things back a little bit.
The Beginning[edit | edit source]
This cult began because of two very important people (V.I.P). These two main popes/pope-ets are known as Alletap and Maester Slatter. These two V.I.P.s had a dream. A dream that said basically, "If some dead guy who wrote books can start a cult about science or whatever, and even corrupt Tom Cruise, then why can't we?" And so a new cult was born.
The Corrupting[edit | edit source]
The cult had to find a cheap easy way to get new lay members, so the pope-ets began on runescape. They both started a file each, and began to tell all the n00bz in lumbridge how almighty Saint Patella is. Maester Slatter used his womanly wiles (wanna have cex? join our cult! or press 123) and Alletap bribed people (free armour trimming if u join our cult) and got a grand total of two or three people. After the initial success of runescape crusading, things went quiet for a while, and the pope-ets layed low so runescape moderators wouldn't tell their mothers what they had been doing and get them a smack. Then came another dream. This time of a prophet, the almighty "Aka Chilla".
Aka Chilla[edit | edit source]
Very little is known about Aka Chilla, except that he is very hairy, and plays football.