User:Kevinthecruel
Kevin The Cruel[edit | edit source]
"Who are youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu."
The Who on Kevin The Cruel
"Cruel Summer!!!"
Oscar Wilde on what happens when Kevin The Cruel hits the beach.
"My mommy whips me for no reason." A kid who's being abused.
Enter the cruel[edit | edit source]
Kevin The cruel was born in New Orleans, Louisiana to a hamster, adolf hitler and the olson twins January 21,1982. At an early age Kevin The Cruel begain his reign of terror by forcing his enermies to listen to celine dion non stop until they had to commit suicide. When they did young Kevin would dispose of teir bodies by huffing their corpses up his left nostril. Kevin The cruel became known as the "innovator of boredom" by boring his nemesises to death with his un witty comments.
Kevin Becomes Even Crueler[edit | edit source]
In 1992 at age ten Kevin The Cruel proved he was more cruel than cruel by stealing a paralysed man's wheelchair and forcing him to listen to Kevin The Cruel's reciting all of the worse poetry ever before. The man shot himself in the face. Kevin The Cruel was about to sing "I turn to stone" from ELO before the man killed himself. Lucky for the man he died right away.
Facts About Kevin The Cruel[edit | edit source]
Kevin The Cruel listens to only dull music. Kevin The Cruel only watch dull movies. Kevin The Cruel bored Chuck Norris. Yeah Chuck Norris thought Kevin Needed a beat down so he went to his house only to be put to sleep by Kevin's singing. Kevin The Cruel puts bullets to sleep. Except the ones he shoots. Kevin The Cruel has only two friends and they're not talking. Kevin The Cruel's singing puts Ninjas to sleep.But you wouldn't know that because ninja don't show when they are sleeping. Jackass!!!!! Kevin The Cruel is the reason for Global Warming. One time he sung "Come on, feel the noise" by Quiet Riot in a ridiculous high pitch voice and caused what we know know as global warming. Not only is Kevin The Cruel a singer he also plays drums. Both of which he sucks at. But I don't want to die from hearing "My heart will go on" so I will not say how bad he is at both. Lets just say after hearing him play drums and singing I much rather hear Michael Bolton. Kevin The Cruel is in a death metal band called "THE LEGION OF CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT" which features Martial Arts Sensation Catlin Dechele as Lead singer. Their first song "Ho Hum Ha"(it's actually Catlin Dechele screaming out her kia while Kevin The Cruel plays power chords, terribly).Killed a whole crowd of people(actually it wasn't only Catlin Dechele screaming that killed the crowd or Kevin The Cruel's playing but Catlin's weapon demostration which she decapitate 1,395 people with her sword including Taylor Swift, Shakira(who went there to escape She Wolf hunters),and Phil Collins)at House of Blues. Kevin The Cruel is horribly bad at everything he does but no one will say otherwise unless they want to hear LEGION OF CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT sing HOLY DIVER or LONG DISTANCE RUN AROUND or anything that sucks balls of hamsters and figs.