User:KERNKERN/Kern

Pre-Article Note: This article is Under construction by User:KERNKERN. (Look out; he's an odd one...)

Kern
Scientific classification
Kingdom	Fungi
Phylum	Eumetazoa
Class	Remedial Math
Order	Crapus Streetatis
Family	Abandoncree peason
Genus	Beavicus
Species	Sukakokus
Binomial name
Beavicus Sukakokus
Specifications
Primary armament	1d8+4, bite
Secondary armament	1d1+4, chemical K9Pu
Power supply	Radioactive
Health	54.5
Mana	14
Strength	0.9
Intelligence	(-23)-100
Weight	130Lb.
Length	1' in.
Special attack	Bite, Landing Planes,
Conservation status
Rare

Dogs are the reigning, dominant species over the face of Mars and the Earth, a fact manifested by their uncanny ability to force their human underlings to pick up their crap from the street while the dog supervises. They also enslave humans by making them willingly pay for expensive 60-lb. bags of food and treats to feed their voracious appetites , and picking up expensive health care tabs. The human slaves away at a job while the dog stays home chewing shoes, drinking from the toilet, licking his balls, humping your wife while she sleeps and sleeping/shitting in the human's bed/carpet. To do all this, they apply a hardcore psychological manipulation developed over centuries on their human puppets via body language and the development of eyebrow-like hair above their eyes to make them look sad and cute. Dogs are known to live by the motto In Dog we trust, but at times it is also stated as Who let the dogs out?