User:Jennabelbin
Ryan Sutton[edit | edit source]
Ryan Janice Sutton was born in Yugoslavia on 25th December 1986.
Ryan was born to a brother and sister (Mary and Joseph Christ). They were bored on a rainy March afternoon so decided to have a dabble with incest. 9 months later out popped Ryan. Mary had to tell her parents he was immaculately conceived and was the result of eating an M Burger which contained McDonalds worker Mr. Sutton's (cannot be named for legal reasons) "special sauce".
In 1988, aged two, Ryan fled Yugoslavia and headed to Southampton, England. He was adopted by a young couple called the Donalds. Mac and Biggitrina, or Big for short. They had such jolly times together and often made sausage sandwiches.
Career[edit | edit source]
Ryan has been successfully persuing his career as a world class drag queen agent for the CIA (Central Intelligence Unit) since 1993.
Recent cases have led him to catch the renowned 'Child carrot contortionist' and he is currently on the crack down of the 'Horny handbrake henchman'.
Death[edit | edit source]
Ryan is still alive. However, he had a near death experience in 2001 when he first attempted to catch the 'CCC' (Child Carrot Contortionist). All that investigating officers have been able to say is "We didn't know it was possible to have so many human bodily orifices filled with carrots. For we know they were carrots because they were orange. With green tops." Some say this has now made Ryan wary of catching the 'HHH' (Horny Handbrake Henchman) for fear of having a handbrake shoved up his rectal passage.
Trivia[edit | edit source]
Ryan enjoys playing naked tiddly winks.
Ryan was once caught in Gay Alley with a creature that can only be described as a sheep.
Ryan was the first man to go to Uranus.
Ryan likes boys.
Ryan sometimes likes girls.
Ryan sometimes likes both aka hermaphrodites.
Ryan's porn name is Ivor Smallin
Ryan's favourite song is ROXAAAAAAANE sung by Jenna Belbin