User:JelloMold/UnNews:U.S. Enforces Green Hill Zone over Libya
After much wrangling and debate the U.S. has finally revealed and begun to enforce implemenation of phase 2 in the Libyan conflict, the creation of a sustainable 'Green Hill Zone' over Libya.
The move has left many in the coalition baffled.. with some former U.S. army officials expressing grave concerns about the direction of the war effort...The main one being a perceived lack of reality awareness amongst it's younger, sega-genesis-reared commanders. Former army chief of staff Peter Schoomaker said of the decision (which has cost billions of dollars to organise in secret):
| “ | I don't think many of our younger officers - some of whom now hold high rank - understand that it's been a complete waste of money to design these badniks, especially when they are based on japanese blueprints for 16 bit games. I like Sonic as much as the next man, but you don't see any plans to create man-size hedgehogs. | ” |
Meanwhile Chief army scientist Scott Fish admitted the task of designing the badniks has been draining:
| “ | I'm not going to lie, it has been a struggle. It's extremely hard to make these flying crabs and whatnot, especially with the demands for less and less pixels from commanders...the main complaint from the chief of staff was that the robots were "too detailed" and needed to look "more like my grandkids are telling me they should look like". | ” |
In a statement issued by the white house this afternoon new press officer Jay Carney expressed doubts about Schoomakers knowledge and went on to field criticism of the project:
| “ | I don't understand their problem, this state of the art, floating emerald isle will provide our badniks with the perfect take off and landing zone from which to strategically strike the enemy. I remember from my childhood the crabs in particular were a pain in the ass, you'd try to jump on them.. sorry make 'sonic' jump on them, and they'd always release their fiery balls as you did so.. resulting in death or at least the loss of rings.. I don't think libyan aircraft will want to take on that, I know I didn't, and died so many times...sorry Sonic died...did I die? No it was definitely Sonic. As for Schoomaker he should know that even if we could make a big hedgehog you can't make them stand on two feet, I think he's the one who's living in a fantasy Mobius...sorry world. | ” |
So far reports suggest the metal wasps have destroyed many air defense installations but are having a harder time with the aircraft, with most crabmeats having simply fallen to the ground and shattered.