User:Jaktheman1

GRIDDERS

"Doop-ba-ba doo bap sha-dooby" - Gridders having an epileptic fit

"Holy shit this guy is real???" - Oscar Wilde

"Humanity is fucked" - Barack Obama & HRH the queen of England

Other names : The great Celestial Gridders, Lesser-spotted Gridders, Anakin Skidwalker, P.Skidders, the Skidders, Skidders...

Gridders "Skids" Griddley (also known as 'Skidders', est.-1034) is a well-known grand master at Skidding and doing the Grids dance. He was first thought to be our saviour to fight in the war of the undead Lesser-spotted Gridders but he was in fact a being of great evil and skiddley-dee. Many historians and scientists have tried to disprove his existence over the years but have had no such luck. Gridders is a fairly solitary being and at the moment enjoys making momumentous skids on his temple wall and listening to psycho-skid metal music.

1.Religion & Mythology

Gridders has been worshipped by many an 'extreme' satanist cult and has thus given rise to an ungriddley field-manual (a bible of sorts) and therefore his own religion. The most skiddley prayer to be said is,

"Our Skidder, Who Skiddeth in Heaven, Hallowed be thy chair, that you skid upon, Thy must be cleaned, with bleach and very strong solvents, Give us this day are daily skid, And skid away our tresspasses, For thine is the Skid Lord, For ever and ever, Skid."

This prayer is to be recited 4 times a day, at these intervals:

6:00-8:00am Skidadam

11:00-1:00pm Skideratus

3:00-5:00 pm Skiddaptan

6:00-9:00 pm JarSkid

Failure to recite in these skid-prayers and chants WILL result in the abominable Skid being released to hunt you down and skid upon you, then giving you astroskiditis, a most deadly disease. In the Skids Field-manual it prophesizes his ungodly rise to power and Galactic Skidquest across the universe,

"and so the great skids shall skid over the earth and cover it in a brown paste" chapter 69 verse 3 of the Skids Field Manual.

New evidence has shown that this passage did not phase p.skidley one bit, nor did it do much to remove the skids from is face. So he deskidded (is that possible?) his house made out of poo and set to work on a new Galactic Skidquest to regain control over the Holy Skid. Another passage tells us that,

Chapter 3, verse 4 of the brown Skids Field Manual is as follows, "many shall skiddeth and nay, they shall not be as skidding as the one true skid, our lord and great skid in the sky"

Gridders himself has told us that what the now squatted ewok had told him, so he has gone to the only person that could help him, Darth Skidler.

The mythology behind the Gridders is not very clear, it doesn't give much evidence on what the Galactic Skidquest is nor does it tell us how to stop it, so yeah, we're fucked.

2.Skid-fu Skid-fu is an elite martial art form adopted by only the most advanced worshippers of Skidders, :D lol soz dudeit is said to be like all the other martial arts, only like, 10x more lethal due to the added skids.

3.The Great Skids and his plan to skid us all He will eventually destroy all of reality, that's right, we're fucked...

--Jaktheman1 18:21, March 26, 2010 (UTC)These words were written by Dr.Olaf Gustafsson OBE, director of skiddler studies at Oxford University