User:InMooseWeTrust/Huzoor

Huzoor (also Hujur or Huzur) is a word in many languages throughout Arabia, Turkey, Persia and the Indian Subcontinent. Although it has many different meanings, it is usually used in a religious context, often to describe a respected and/or pious individual.

Possible definitions

• Arabic and Persian - The word حضور means presence. The idea can be stretched to mean presence in the eyes of Allah, piety, oneness with the creator, and so forth.
• Turkish - ???
• Indian languages - A respected person or a pious person. Often used as the equivalent of "My Lord" or "Dear Sir," very formal. Always refers to a man.

Muslims in the Indian subcontinent

In the Indian subcontinent but especially in Bangladesh, a "hujur" is a pious man who devotes his life to Allah and dresses only in Islamic dress. He is usually but not necessarily a preacher, scholar, or imam.

Professional hujurs

Formally, a hujur is the Muslim equivalent of a "Holy Man," who is a preacher, scholar, or imam. Almost every imam or other senior figure at a mosque, madrassah, or Islamic center is addressed as "Hujur." In addition, every Islamic teacher whether at a madrassa or in private instruction is always addressed as "Hujur" by his students.

Most people are generally terrified of hujurs, going great lengths to either avoid them entirely or to lie about their own lives to make themselves look more pious than they really are. They're really just afraid of being judged, although most hujurs are not that judgmental. And these hujurs, unless they're arrogant pricks (which some are), are usually living in constant fear of eternal damnation themselves because they hold themselves to a higher standard of piety yet they make simple mistakes every other human being makes, especially when it comes to Islamic matters.

However, when it comes to major religious functions (like leading group prayers, special ceremonies, or blessings), everyone tends to run to the nearest hujur and beg and plead for his services. He usually does this for a very reasonable price, but some people like to hire multiple hujurs or pay a more reputable hujur extra money to get extra favors from Allah. This can create many awkward situations for both the hujur and for the host. For example, a first time homeowner may call a hujur for his services, and the hujur may give a short sermon about how Allah's blessings can't reach a house where you can hear a dog bark (neighbor has a pet dog) or about the sins of usury (the interest on the mortgage). It gets even more awkward when the hujur sees his students and how un-Islamic their house is.

Informal hujurs

Informally, a man is a stereotypical "hujur" if he wears the local interpretation of "Islamic dress" and has a long, unkempt beard and short hair. When a man keeps this appearance on a day to day basis and not just during religious functions, he automatically becomes a hujur. It signifies that he is a pious man who has devoted his life to the service of Allah. He may or may not hold a normal job, but outside of work, he is always working in the service of his religion. He prays 5 times a day including all sunnah and nawafl prayers, fasts many days outside of Ramadan, constantly recites the Qur'an, and does everything else you would expect a Muslim to do to get "bonus points" in the eyes of Allah.

More often than not, the informal hujur's family suffers because he frequently ignores his family responsibilities to spend more time in religious functions. And when he is home, he usually nitpicks too much on his children's piety. They grow to resent him and there is never a proper father-child relationship. Even still, the child will grow up and either become a hujur himself or be a more normal Muslim and talk praise of his father, letting everyone know he is a hujur. However, despite all this outward fatherly praise, the child will forever have a hole in his or her life. The child will feel the need to look and act pious, but will face enormous guilt in being unable to do so. They will pass this passive-aggressiveness to their children, who will resent them for it.

Hujurs are always put on a pedestal by the general population. Although they are just as fallible as any normal pious person, people like to impose guilt and shame on a hujur who doesn't live up to their expectations. Sometimes this can seem like genuine religious criticism (like being late to a prayer when they had nothing better to do), but other times people are just cruel for personal gain. For example, the hujur may own a shoe store and his customers may criticize him for charging the same price for the same shoes as the other stores, suggesting the hujur "should not engage in profiteering, which is the work of infidels." The hujur may inevitably be guilt-tripped into selling those shoes at a lower price.

Habits

To be a good hujur, one must participate in all forms of sunnah to the best of his ability. That can mean anything from general ideas like keeping a long beard all the way to doing every little thing exactly like Muhammad (ﷺ). By every little thing, I mean washing your forearm exactly five times, entering a bathroom with your left foot and any other room with your right, wiping your ass the Islamically prescribed way, and so on.

Appearances

You can always tell if a man in a hujur by his appearance. He must look like Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) as much as possible. Drawing a likeness of the Prophet (ﷺ) is forbidden but looking like him is totally okay. The following are some general guidelines to make any man look like a hujur:

• Hair must be a buzz cut or crew cut only, or even bald. Keeping a man's hair short is sunnah even though the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) had long hair down to his shoulders.
• Beard must be long and unkempt. The longer and messier it is, the more Allah will reward him.
• No dyes or makeup allowed. The only exception is henna, which can only be used on the beard.
• Circumcision. This is sunnah even though Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) was not circumcised.

Clothing

• Forehead must be exposed at all times. It's good to have a giant callous on the forehead because that means he prays often.
• A white, round hat on his head. It's considered proper Islamic dress even though Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) never wore hats like that.
• A "Panjabi" top. This is common in pious people of both Hinduism and Islam, but it's only considered religious attire for Muslims because the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) prescribed this type of clothing, even though there is no anthropological evidence that Bedouin men wore this type of clothing. The top is called a "panjabi" because it was commonly worn as ceremonial clothing by people along the historical Punjab region in India and Pakistan. It's usually made of silk even though multiple Islamic sources prohibit men from wearing silk.
• "Pyjama" pants as prescribed by Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ), who never wore them and probably didn't know they existed. Regular, western pants are forbidden for a hujur. These pants are extremely thin and offer you no protection against the elements. The fabric, when it's not silk, is usually so uncomfortable that you always sweat and itch under it. The waist starts at extremely wide (probably 2-3 times a typical man's waist size) and there is a narrow band of cloth that you tie above your navel. The legs get thinner the further down you go, until it chokes the veins at the shins. They always end above the ankles because wearing anything other than sandals below the ankles is strictly forbidden in Islam. However, the rule doesn't apply to shoes or socks for some reason.
• Lungi. You take a long, rectangular piece of cloth and wear it around your waist with no underwear. The lungi is tied in a knot above the navel with an elaborate knot that's so tight that no amount of hard labor or running will loosen it. Little boys learn to tie this knot when they get their first lungi after their circumcision. This is considered part of proper Islamic dress even though the Prophet Muhammad (ﷺ) never wore anything like it.