User:Imrealized/They Live!

Great. Now you've gone and done it. You just couldn't leave those sunglasses alone, could ya? HQ... we've got another one who can see, here.

“Stay in line. Single file. No shoving. Next, please. Have two forms of identification ready. No shoving. Take a loan with a fixed 73% APR. Next, please. More shoving. Have a toaster.”

~ The First Bank of Alien Overlords on queue etiquette

LISTEN

You gonna eat that? The sun is not a generator. Best boys browse better buys at Best Buys. Look over here. Get married, but carry on several affairs on the side. Eat at Joe's. Start a small business but underestimate your start-up requirements, misread your market and fritter away your initial assets. Fail miserably. Borrow money from your mother. Try again. You need a new couch. Never discuss religion, politics or the possibility of aliens controlling the world. Avoid David Icke, basically. There is no recession. Oooo... .fireworks. Don't live to work, just work. What did you do to your new couch? Oh well, buy another. Paper or plastic? Only losers carpool. Don't question shit.

This

If an article is over three paragraphs in length, don't read it. Stop daydreaming! It's okay... dance while your beds are burning. If one train leaves out of Nashville, Tennessee at 9:43 a.m. and another sets out from Birmingham, Alabama at 10:17 a.m., at which point will you decide that you will settle in to a career in burger-flipping if it means never having to solve a simple word problems again? Your mind is not a sieve, nor a trap. It's a series of tubes. Well, pipes anyway. Plumbing; your mind is plumbing. Simple, shit-filled plumbing.

and this

plus this thing

Roddy... you're cool. But that guy up top there, he looks like he ate some lasagna with a side of his own face, got sick and puked it all back upon his neck. Real fuckin' ugly, that one.

a kick-ass article

Oh no, Weeble — not you, too!