User:Ihaveaids/Megyn Kelly
Megyn Hussein Kelly was born on Septmeber 11, 2001 in some place near Hawaii..Alaska..or Russia I dont really know. Who knows, who cares? She really didn't do much...relying on her sole good looks as the basis for her 'success' in Law...or so she says. She likes to think that she "practiced" law for 9 years, but the only practicing she did was as a paralegal which is a glorified name for a secretary to an actual lawyer. Tasks included giving HJ's...and syphyllis.
The Japan Interview[edit | edit source]
Good evening my racist, facist douchebag viwers. Thanks for tuning in to my program at 3 am. I, Megyn HJ Kelly, have no interviewing skills. My guest tonight is the very controversial figure in our everyday lives. His holyness..the unfounded..the dumbfounded..the 'praise my name every single minute of every day before I smite your bitch ass'....Jesus!
Kelly: Jesus, welcome to my show on Fox News..fair and balanced (insert plug here)
Jesus: Great to be here, my creation.
Kelly: So Jesus, what is your take on the earthquake in Japan recently?
Jesus: Well, I believe that the earthquake, devastating as it was, was only inevitable considering that Japan has a huge fault line running right through it. Although they have made pre-emptive measures to keep buildings from succumbing to such force, sometimes tragedies like this can't be prevented.
Kelly: Yeah..ok..but don't you think that this is going to have a huge effect on our economy? I mean come on, Jesus.
Jesus: Oh I am sure it will, but that should be the last thing on all of my childrens minds. I created you to be compassionate towards one another. Many people have died. Have sympathy.
Kelly: Ok. Thats all fine an dandy, but serisouly gas prices are going to skyrocket. I mean first the people from Libya had to start getting killed by their dictator, and now this? Come on!
Jesus: I think you are really missing the point here..Let me expl-
Kelly: Just answer the question please.
Jesus: What? there was no question, just a statement. If you would lik-
Kelly: Jesus Christ
Jesus: Yes?
Kelly: What?
Jesus: You said my name.
Kelly: No I didnt
Jesus: ..Yes you did
Kelly: Well thats your opinion, and wrong as it may be..is why you don't exist. CUT HIS MIC!