User:Hyperbole/Dexter is my favorite show ever!!!

Dexter is my favorite show ever!!!

My mom and dad never used to let me stay up past nine and all I ever got to watch was lame kid shows like iCarly and Dexter's Laboratory. But then one day I asked mom why there was a bag of leaves under her socks and she said "Hey, buddy, would you like to stay up and watch TV with Mommy?"

I sure would!!!

Anyway, Dexter is WAY better than Dexter's Laboratory. I told all my friends about it and they were SO jealous!! Then I told Mrs. Chambers about it and she was so jealous she made me tell the school counselor too! That wasn't much fun, though. I don't like Mr. Porter. His office smells like old sandwiches.

But anyway let me tell you about what makes Dexter so great!!!

Dexter is very nice.

Dexter is a nice man who does all these nice things for people! He has a girlfriend named Reeta who is blond and very pretty. She has two kids. The boy is about my age and Dexter is very nice to him!

Dexter's job is being a police officer, so he helps people. His sister Deb is also a police officer. She works out at the gym to make her stronger so she can catch more bad guys! She loves working out so much that one time the gym was closing so she met this nice man at the gym and they went back to her house and they kept exercizing on the bed. They took off all their clothes first so they don't get sweat all over them. Deb also handcuffed the nice man to the bed, I guess because they didn't have the normal gym equipment with them.

Then Dexter walked in the room and said "Whoa, sorry" and left. I thought he should have exercized with them because he's also a police officer, but I guess he needed some sleep. It's important to get sleep before you go to work!

Dexter is a butcher.

Dexter has another job besides being a police officer. He's a butcher! Which is a nice job because he can give hungry people meat. People call him the Bay Harbor Butcher because his butcher shop is in a place called Bay Harbor.

When Dexter brings people their food, he covers the whole room in plastic first so it doesn't get messy. I asked mom why he doesn't just wear a bib?? But mom said grownups don't wear bibs.

Then he wraps the people in plastic too! Dexter is very worried about not getting food on the floor, I guess. Sometimes I get food on the floor but Brubeck just eats it. I guess the people don't have dogs.

And then he takes a ketchup bottle and squirts ketchup all over their cheek! so they can have ketchup with their hamburgers. His ketchup bottle looks all metal and pointy like a knife. Mom says butchers ketchup bottles are usually shaped that way.

And then after they're done eating he even takes out the trash! Most butchers don't do that. I guess these people eat a lot because there's always like six whole bags full of trash when he's done. And Dexter is so nice he doesn't even make the trash man take away the trash, he just throws it off the side of his boat.