User:Hwcolin

During his early life, Dan Smith was a keen neonazi, this then led to him believing himself to be the infamous Adolf Hitler. Although he calls himself Dandolf Smitler, the link is considerable. Upon education at Mamby Lodge Infant School, he suffered a serious metartarsal fracture on his right foot (he was right footed), this led to him playing left wing and being left footed. Because of this he is said to have feminine feet and has said "stilettos are comfortable." This in turn led to him being an outcast, being called such names as gypsyface and the king of the gypsies.

Dandolf had a traumatic childhood. His beloved Chelski were 'balls'. During this period he saught refuge through his idols, Ahbraham and Moses. His religious views took a sudden turn when he switched to Islam. His view of Allah is apparantly close to a young Peter Andre. He is alledged to have caused the break-up of Katie and Peter.

His latest public shock was whern he released his Two Germans One Pole porn video. He is also a savant because of his ability to not be able to do everyday simple things such as tieing his laces and putting on a jumper. However no exceptional ability to remember or learn has been reported yet.

His mother is Susan Boyle, public celebrity for her fame on ITV's Britain's Got Talent. Her song 'I Dreamed A Dream' was influenced and written by Dandolf. (See below).

I dreamed a dream in time gone by When hope was high and life worth living I dreamed that love would never die I dreamed that God would be forgiving

Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung, no wine untasted

But the tigers come at night With their voices soft as thunder As they turn your hope apart As they turn your dreams to shame

And still I dream he’d come to me That we would live the years together But there are dreams that cannot be And there are storms we cannot weather

I had a dream my life would be So different from the hell I’m living So different now from what it seemed Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

His sexuality is still unknown after repeated attempts to find out using various doctors, tecniques and X-Rays. It is assumed that he is asexual and his anotomy is more closely related to the common sunflower than Homo Sapien. Of course this cannot be known until he is transferred to London Zoo for captivity to try and encourage him to breed.

It is also known that he uses his toes to write, as his arms are in fact his legs, his body is amazingly out of proportion. His ears are famous for the fact that they move around his cranium due to their advanced under-skin toes which grip the skull to move, currently one is on his neck and the other is on his forehead.

He has a phobia of socks. Go behind him with a sock in hand and be prepared for a flying nut.