User:High Gen. Grue/UnScripts:The Grand Army
“A very bad Script...”
– A critic on The Grand Army
The Grand Army is a fictional story by a retired Grue Army veteran, who wanted to show what he had gone through.
Episode 1:The Land I Lost[edit | edit source]
( It is a period of war. The Black Hole forces are trying to invade the country of Uncyclopedia. A sixteen year old boy, Alexander Exo, is walking down a sidewalk. A plane is hovering overhead, and a bomb drops about two miles from Alexander.)
Alexander: Oh my god! <runs away>
(A group of Grue Army troops in a AA-Jeep drive past, and a poster flies and lands in front of Alexander. He reads it.)
Alexander: That was scary. Hey, what is this? <picks up the poster>.
(The poster reads: Join the Grue Army! Help stop the Black Hole forces from invading Uncyclopedia! Nearest recruiting station. A friend of Alexander's, Lisa, is running towards him)
Lisa: Alexander! That bomb destroyed our school! It killed most everybody inside!
Alexander: What!
Lisa: Another bomb exploded in your neighborhood! C'mon!
(The two run to Alexander's neighborhood. Many houses are damaged or destroyed, many people are dead. Alexander is still clutching the poster. Police and Grue Army soldiers have swarmed the area. )
Alexander: This can't be happening!
Captain Froggy: Stop, citizen! You can not enter the area while we investigate!
Alexander: Froggy!?!
Froggy: Of course! Why wouldn't I be called Froggy?
Alexander: Your name tag says "Uncyclopedian."
Froggy: UNCYCLOPEDIAN!!! I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!!
Captain Uncyclopedian: Give me back my name tag!
Froggy: <blushes> Oops.
Alexander: Uh, the name is sewed on.
Uncyclopedian: You're wearing my uniform?
Froggy: You're wearing mine!
Uncyclopedian: Hey, this one says SpecOps Ouroboros on it. Since when was the amazing, great, ULTIMATE DIETY OF THEM ALL Ouroboros a member of the Grue Army?
Froggy: I dunno.
(A Black Hole soldier arrives, and is shot by a poison dart from Froggy)
Alexander: Oh damn. Do you have to bring that up?
Uncyclopedian: Eh, of course!
(Another bomb explodes, and Black Hole troopers march in, tagging everything.)
Froggy: GET DOWN CIVILLIANS!
(All civillians either run away, or run for cover, besides Lisa and Alexander)
Froggy: I said GET DOWN!!!
(Uncyclopedian shoots a few vandals.)
Uncyclopedian: WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING!?!
Unnamed Soldier: Sir, Shock Squads from the ED lands are attacking to aid the Black Hole guys!!!
Froggy: We need civillian aid and reenforcements!!!
Uncyclopedian: Take a gun!!
(Alexander takes a gun)
Alexander: Are you sure this will work?
Froggy: Yes!
(Hundreds of Uncyclopedia and Black Hole soldiers march into the fray, as well ad a few Shock Squads, attacking each other)
Grue Army Soldiers: FOR UNCYCLOPEDIA!
(Alexander shoots a general of the Black Hole soldiers in the head. General Han flys a plane in, full of reenforcements.)
Han: (On radio) I'll call a few artillery tanks! Clear the area!
Froggy: Hey you, kid, wanna join the Grue Army? You get free weapons!
Uncyclopedian: And Ouroboros statues!!!
(Suddenly a bomb explodes)
Han: Too many of them, retreat!!!
Froggy: The city is being invaded! We need to evacuate! Sound the alarm!
Alexander: I'll join the Grue Army right now! Just no Ouroboros statues!!!
(The Grue Army retreats in a jet)
Froggy: Here is a rifle for your basic use. <hands Alexander a rifle>
Uncyclopedian: HEY, HAN IS WEARING YOUR UNIFORM, FROGGY!!!
Han: <blushing> Oops.
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