User:Heerenveen/Why?:Paint the house one percent grey instead of white?

Your house has been a faithful friend to you. It put up with your constant shit, stayed with you through the murder charges, and didn't turn an eye at the many fires it suffered at the hands of your underpractised cooking skills. But now it's come to the time where, alas, you must move on. The heights of the red light district await, and who would turn down that studio apartment, really? It even had a working toilet!

You get the valuers in from several local estate agents. They all tell you that, in these economically depressed times, your little rented flat would only fetch you around a hundred and fifty pounds (or several million dollars). Except one. Just one. This one, with just one sprightly young lady on its wonderful staff, tells you that right now, your one house would net you only one pound on that one flatlining market known as estate agency. However, she suggestively says that the value could skyrocket if you make just one little adjustment. After she leaves, you cannot help but wonder: Why paint the house one percent grey instead of white?

Conclusion

So, it's now been scientifically proven that painting the walls of your house one percent grey instead of white has so many tangible benefits, you can see the fortunes of gold you'll apparently make stacked in your front room already! But what's this? The dozy airhead at your local B&Q mucked up the paint mixture? It's too bad that you can't afford another go; such a shame you're going to have to paint your only room with a mixture the colour and consistency of Dr. Pepper. I guess you'll just have to find some way to blind the wife every time she comes in from the torture house. But hey, you learned something from this experience, didn't you!