User:Hdgcfcf/My Trip to India
Do you work with Software for a living? Do you live in the US? If you do, your job may be outsourced to that crazy country called India. In fear of loosing their jobs to an Indian, the Uncyclopedia Ultimate Board of Know-It-Alls commissioned an official report on India, and provided their new ace reporter, John Doe, with a laptop and a ticket via Punjab Airways to India. His job: Perform reconnaissance on India, and report back.
India[edit | edit source]
Being the new reporter for Uncyclopedia, I had expected an assignment to maybe a more pleasant place, like Puerto Rico. Instead, I get a call at 2:00 AM this night telling me to quickly pack my bags for a trip to India, of all places. I diligently obliged, and appeared at JFK Airport at 9:00 AM, feeling rather sleepy, at the Punjab Airways Terminal. I soon thereafter board my plane, I decide to catch some sleep.
I am almost immediately awakened by the ear-hurting accent of the pilot on the PA system:
"Gud mornin' lad-dies and gentlen, and thank you fur flyin' with Aeir India. This is your flight superviser Apu Iyer speaking on behalf of Pilot Arjun, enjoying his Chicken Tikka Masala in his cok-pit. Please do keep your hands and feet to yourself, or we will have to tie you to your seat. Please do keep your seat in upright position for take-off and landing. Also do not use force. Broken seats will not be replaced and you will be tied to the floor during takeoff and landing.
"Thank You"
After this, I immediately fell asleep.
Facts and Figures[edit | edit source]
I woke up mid-flight, feeling quite refreshed. To my surprise, everybody in the plane was staring at me, probably since I was the only white guy amongst the sea of brown.