User:Haspwinder

As Keo Knows© HaspWinder

      This article is about Me, a 23rd century gothic Skater.

Yo! I know that fool! We chillin my basement and play The World of Warcraft ~Keo

A goth, Skater, musician, slacker, philanthropist - these are just a few of the professions of individuals that HaspWinder has corrupted with his rampant slacking and religous views.

A man who touches nearly every child that he can get to hold still long enough, often without consent, which in turn has led to several lawsuits. Renown'd for his Oral Sex skills, HaspWinder is without doubt one of the leading slacker goths of the new millenia.

HaspWinder is also hailed as one of the laziest men who have ever existed, without really having done anything for anyone in life.

Biography

Birth and Early Life

Born premature on June 16th of 1985, Haspwinder knew early on that his life was to be full of darkness and despair...Everything started early when he recieved his first concution at age 3 from falling from the moving van onto his head near the old highway that runs to the orphanage...Many say this is what started the young child down the road to being so....well "Special".

Haspwinder failed during his academic years, with a number of his tutors stating that he was never willing to lend a hand to the younger boys, but willing to lend them many other things to include a fist and a foot. After middle school, he attended a back-woods high school where he was taught the basics in life, Hunting, math and sexual intercourse where he graduated with high points in "double fisting". His tutor and lover, Mrs. Tracy, remarked that HaspWinder had great natural ability to "keep it up" where others may fail, he would always go the extra distance and make a proper fist of it".

A Question of Worth

From 1994 to 2004, HaspWinder became a "Superb Stoner" in the small town he grew up in. Growing and selling his own "product" he was able to make quite a profit only to find out that his partner was using most of the money that they earned to buy very expensive clods of dirt that roughly resembled George Jones. This started a very harsh battle in which HaspWinder finally took off with the "statues" of George and crushed them with his newly purchesed 3-Wheeled bike.

From 2005 to 2009 HaspWinder found himself enlisting into the armed forces. (his plan was to break them down from the inside, but later realized and remembered that it would take work and then desciided on a new plan, to get paid to do absolutely nothing all day and earn a repuitable paycheck for it...To this day HaspWinder works in the Armed forces doing nothing at all and collecting taxpayers dollars.

The many attempts of HaspWinder

In the late years of HaspWinder's Life he tries to take up a number of sports which include Skateboarding. Not realizing that one would need balance or at the very least talent to be good at this HaspWinder often fell into concusions and other head related injuries. After several years of doing this HaspWinder finally gets good enough to enter a tournament. With High hopes HaspWinder arrives at the tournament grounds only to realize that he had shown up two full weeks late. Discouraged by this HaspWinder only skated on rare occations, often in the nude. He has often heard stating, "If I can't do it naked it must not be worth doing"

--Haspwinder 17:50, 20 February 2009 (UTC)