User:Harry the Hammer/MyTemplate

The Great Hamster Revolution of 1994

Hamsters have always been mistreated in our society. Classes of scruffy and snotty children have for years been poking, pulling, sneezing, puching and sitting on these poor defencless creatures. And their crime I hear ye call? Being furry and somewhat attractive in a weird but not bestial way.

Leninsky

In the middle of the chaos a new leader rose from the maelstrom. His name? Mr. Tiddles von Leninsky, a hard core philosopher from Hamsterussian hamster sect. On the 15th of April 1994 , Leninsky rode by hamster wheel into the streets of St. Hamsterburg and promised to hamsters worldwide 'Peace, Cheese, Sawdust' this was known as Leninskys famous 'April Faeces' after he took a dump accidentally during the interval.He promised to give hamsters freedom from the captilist cages with nothing but a waterbottle and a fake hobo house for company. He inspired many hamsters to take up arms and fight the evil humans who cooped them up for so long.

Leon 'Wheels of Fire' Trotskov

Leninsky ordered that his close friend Leon Trotskov be made 'Grand Hamster Commissar for all things Yellow and Furry'. He immediatley orderd increased productions of the MK1 Tiny Tim hamster tank which could fire up to 15 shots per minute of pure high grade poo. He recruited the ordinary hamster dwellers Hamsterussia to join the Grand Hamsterussian Army (GHA). He recruited special suicide hamster divisons trained to look cute and when a human got close BOOOM!. Special airborne divisons (SADs) would rain furry death over to streets of London and New York. And platoons of Hamster Undercover Military Police (HUMPs) would make sure there was no desserting (No running away or eating rationed pudding) and would lead the attack first. (Motto: My HUMPS,My HUMPS, My lovely hamster HUMPS)

The Attack

On the 21st August 1994 the attack begun simultaneously around the golbe and the world plunged into chaos. The SADs rained death upon the dwellers of London with their precise arial attack, the GHA attack with out mercy nibbling at human bodies with their upgraded pure titanium teeth and fired needles from their MK12 Mr Snuggles guns and their advamce pressed on because the HUMPs were close behind threating with no cheese for a week if they retreated. The Joint Kangaroo and Hamster Division (JKHD) took Australia within an hour and celebrated by having a 'barbie' Hamsterussian style. Mass armies of the Chihamster Battalions overran Asia in less than a month. The east coast, west coast and Alaska fell to Hamsterussian control in the first week, the African Deserrt Hamster Battalion (ADHB)took Africa by luring natives out with cold ice cream and then slaughtering them was a particular favourite tactic, Europe got scared and surrendered and as for South America?...they didn't bother. Too icky.

--Harry the Hammer 12:03, 15 November 2008 (UTC)