User:Hajihajiha

Hajihajiha

Hajihajiha is the sweedish god of turnip fertility and brown paper bags. he is worshipped by the sweedish twice a day by eating a raw turnip and having a potato sack race, this symbolises his rise to the heavens and ascension from mortality.

Folk lore regarding this key figure to sweedish culture and daily life is scarce and only obtainable by bartering with the many pikey tribes of south east England for a packet of cigarettes and a pint of Bud. we managed to obtain this information at a great cost to us and our families , but it was in order to pass the knowledge on to you.

Hajihajiha was once a young hungarian boy who traveled to Sweeden in order to gather ice for his parents freezer. on the way he sailed into a monstrous storm of the coast of Scotland , and was promptly marooned on a desert island. while there he was alledgedly to have wandered about looking for any sign that anyone would save him , but nobody ever did. After a few months , he decided that he would have to save himself , so he spent his time drinking from fresh turnips ,and pooing into small brown paper bags , as not to upset the local ecosystem of three trees and a bush. After several weeks he had developed a deeper understanding of Nature and mankinds miniscule role in it, grown a smelly beard , and built a raft out of monkeys. He sailed his raft out to sea and the first land he saw , he sailed towards. Amazingly , he survived this incredible experience on Ireland and made good speed for Sweeden.

Upon arrival , he was hailed as a hero and was sacrificed to the heavens who promptly accepted him , and from then on , he has watched over the turnips and..... the brown paper bags