User:Grunt55/Half-Life: Opposing Force
Opposing Farts is a videogame about marines that made the mistake of invading Black Mesa Research Facility. The point in playing this videogame is to shoot up scientists survive an alien invasion that was brought by those same scientists as they played Jumanji.
How to play this game?[edit | edit source]
Opposing Bars has this gameplay about giving chocolate bars to a fat security guard to convince him of cooperating in the middle of the game. The protagonist is a marine of very bad reputation, it is said he steals from people whenever he has a chance to. If you want a game about stealing and killing this is the game you surely prefer.
The best part about this game is that weirdo that spies on you all the time, which calls himself the Geek-Man. He has tons of geek stuff on his briefcase, possibly even cocaine and nobody cares because he is probably stronger than anyone else and has the ability to disappear on a corner. It is said he stole it from a guy known as Cave Johnson, also known as "the bitch."
The first lesson as a marine is to learn to shoot up scientists, because science is kind of dangerous, you know, and you are protecting scientists from destroying themselves. Once this is done, you get a medal from Major Payne and sent straight into the battlefield, wherein wild scientists run towards you in an attempt to bite off your arm and feed on your intestines. Remember Half-Life is known by its gorey depiction of reality.
The second lesson is climb ropes and scream like a monkey. Screaming like a monkey can scare off scientists, since monkeys are of a far, far superior evolutionary stage according to Don Juan.
How to defeat Don Juan[edit | edit source]
This makes no sense, Don Juan is not in the game.
Otis[edit | edit source]
The bald security guard known as Otis O'connor can throw donuts at the aliens, and these donuts are (in?)flammable and they explode in contact with rabid scientists. Also he is a good ally as long as he is being fed with one daily donut. He has the superpower to turn diabetes into armor.
Displacer[edit | edit source]
A super weapon capable of teleporting you any random place, even if it was the Mushroom World. Luckily you can almost always find a portal to get back home. Nonetheless it may teleport you to Diddy's house.
| Half-Life: Opposing Ferns | |
|---|---|
| File:Opposing Force cover.jpg | |
| Developer(s) | Some bullshit guy. |
| Publisher(s) | In all the years of my life I never published a single videogame. You? |
| Series | Half-Life, or that time Einstein, Rambo and E.T. entered into a bar. |
| Engine | The engine of souls |
| Platform(s) | The platforms are very high or very low. |
| Release | on men. |
| Genre | First-person shooter |
| Mode(s) | Single-player, multiplayer, and those penguins that explode after eating humans alive. |
“I will smoke you like a Cuban cigar!”
Half-Life Opposing Force is a citrically-acclaimed videogame based on Full Metal Jacket, MIB and Major Payne. It is a First Person Shooter (the main task is to shoot down as many scientists as it is humanly possible, regardless of the moral consequences involved), and enemies vary from terrorist ninja commandos to whatever the hell that thing with 3 legs is). The main character is Cpl. Adrian Shephard, a guy. This guy is sent to Black Mesa (a very big basement) by a weirdo in a blue suit (a voyeur from an Intelligence Agency). The game includes a Capture the Flag gamemode, in which the objective is to make penguins explode, making it the first videogame ever to ignite P.E.T.A. protests all over the world, and this was Valve's objective all along.
Gameplay[edit | edit source]
Plot[edit | edit source]
Cpl. Shephard is a member of a geek roleplay team which calls itself H.E.C.U. (Hazardous Eminem Combat University), which so happens to be exclusively for marines. This team goes to the bootcamp, and is assigned by the weirdo in a blue suit to invade some city in New Mexico (because the government thought it was in Mexico). Also, the government thought it was a giant garage, but in fact it is one of the government's secret research facilities, wherein the best scientists on the (flat) Earth discovered a new way to produce beverages with chilli. Also, the mission's objective is to get some of these same beverages for the incumbent President's bath. Oblivious to all of this, Shephard keeps going, in order to find a guy that owes him money in New Mexico, which turns out was Heisenberg, which turns out was the cousin of Dr. Rosenberg.
Some kung-fu ninjas were scouting the area in search of a good challenger. They fought armed marines with just their bare fists and since it was too easy for them they went for Shephard, which turns out developed some type of forbidden martial art thanks to his trusty pipe-wrench.