Complex
In order to begin this article, please skip to paragraph 3, if your IQ is less than 97 but greater than 65. If your IQ is under 65, please refer to This Article. Please refer to This Article in order to determine your IQ, but not unless you have submitted form AZ-27 with your district office.
If you do not live in the U.S., there is a $0.25 charge for use of this form, but that fee can be waved if you have a 1st cousin living in the U.S. or are substantially more attractive than the average foreigner. At the discretion of the U.S. Senate's President Pro Tempore, this fee may be increased to $0.75 on holidays.
If you have an IQ of over 115, but are unsure of how to proceed, please remove evidence of having visited this page after proceeding to line 16 of paragraph 3 and determining you are eligible to continue. The U.S. Government and the writers of Uncyclopedia are not responsible for any a.) internal damage, b.) mental damage, c.) bad luck, or d.) Surprise Sex that may be the result of reading this article. For more information, please contact your lawyer.
If you are married, it is recommended that you view this document with your spouse, but it is not necessary that you do so. note: if your annual average income for the past 5 years is less than 25,000 yen, the information in this article may not apply to your income range.
If you or your significant other is bilingual, you may wish to consult a pediatrician before attempting to have children if, and only if, you read this article more than 3 times within one week. The Surgeon General of the U.S. warns that this article should not be read while pregnant or using a prescription drug.
By continuing to read this article, you certify that you are not Hispanic and living in the U.S. unlawfully. Anyone found in possession of a laser cat while reading this article is in violation of law 327 U. S. 14, and will be prosecuted. Consumption of alcohol while reading this article, or within the 6 hours prior to reading this article is strictly prohibited.
If you live in Orange County, Florida, you may need a Boater's ID to continue. A guide dog is necessary while reading this article if you are legally blind.
Begin Part 1[edit | edit source]
You are alloted 15 minutes to read paragraph one. Do not begin paragraph one until signaled to do so by your instructor. If you are not reading this article on a certified Macintosh or Widows OS you are in violation of 412 U.S. 1 and should stop immediately. You may begin reading:
1. Sue walks slows down the green highway.
2. Susana Lee Jones meanders gregariously along the international traffic route of malachite coloration.
3. Susan, that bitch, walked down a fucking green street.
Which of the following above is of the most complex nature? If you answered 1, please refer back to the introduction before attempting to read this again. If you answered 3, you may eligible for a monthly stipend from your local municipality. However, if you answered 2, good job! Please continue to the next question, but not until you have certified that you were not aided by an audio device in the answering of this question.
Paragraph 3[edit | edit source]
Welcome to paragraph two. By entering paragraph two, you have already completed half the first portion of the secondary paragraph. This is where things get tricky. We need you to put your left foot in front of your right foot, raise both arms over your head, and buck like a chicken. Aha, <insert name here>, that is the sound a rooster makes, so you have been caught red handed. Drinking while reading this article is strictly prohibited remember? Hands on your head and get on the ground so we can beat you. Actually, this time we're going to let you go on a technicality, but the technicality is too complex to explain to you. Oh, complexity, that was the idea of this article in the first place. Well, please read on to continue.
Paragraph 2[edit | edit source]
Begin: p a r a g r a p h 3 STOP D e a r M a r y I a m w r i t i n g t o y o u t o r e q u e s t t h e p a y m e n t o f a s e x u a l f a v o u r t h a t y o u h a v e o w e d m e f o r q u i t e s o m e t i m e STOP I w i l l b e w a i t i n g f o r y o u i n t h e d e n a n d I w i s h f o r y o u t o a r r i v e w e a r i n g a t r e n c h c o a t a p i n k b r a a n d n o p a n t i e s STOP I w i l l p r o v i d e t h e b i r t h c o n t r o l STOP
Composite Liturgy 4[edit | edit source]
Your auges have made repose upon paragraph 4. Undoubtedly, your cranial spacial repository has exceeded capacity in regards to writ memorization of knowledge pertaining to the topic at hand. Regardless, your partial absorption of the nuances of said topic could undoubtedly be earmarked for further elongation, but with potentially pernicious effects. That is to say, the very nature of the fundamental projections made by the leading apostolic sociologists could be deemed misleading simply on the grounds of their overuses of overzealous and structurally undercutting verbosity. Quake not, for unscrupulous individuals who attempted to suppress this knowledge have met the ship (as it were, an expression generally stating or otherwise implying expiration of an individual, when in fact it is used as an expression and not a specific statement pertaining to the process of arriving at the same place and time as a vessel used primarily for nautical navigation by several cultures throughout the centuries). Your person and very mortal being, in contrast, has succeeded in the improbable and precarious understudy of said article and is eligible for uncloaking of the final incarnation of the original manifestation of this document.
Paragraph 5[edit | edit source]
Congratulations, you have made it, you have been educated in the nature of complexity without even knowing it (or did you?). You can now receive your certificate for basic knowledge of complexity and complex issues. There will be nothing more in this article that is complex in any way. Honestly. That is because this article is almost over. To receive your certificate, please visit you local DMV, and request form E-15.3. Upon completion of the mandatory vision test, you may be eligible for full certification. If you are unlawfully taking this test, you may have to repeat this test to qualify for full certification. Partial certification is the same as full certification but has less benefits and uses. For more information, please contact your local Post Office, and tell them the secret code phrase: "Urine Spawn Aliens". Don't Panic!