User:Evil-Santa/When You're A Clown..

When you're a clown - nobody takes you seriously..

We've all heard the line by now, in my line of work it's kind of a given but boy is it true..

See I was like all the other clowns once, happy and full of life -

that was until she walked into the Big Top..

She called herself Fifi, nice girl but not too bright - rumor had it she was some kind of ventriloquist or something..

All I knew was that girl was trouble: I knew her kind.. yet as hard as I tried I just couldn't resist..

You see she was a smart one, she knew my weakness - Cracker Jacks: goddamn I love Cracker Jacks, delicious.. sweet..

I'd kill for a Cracker Jack and she knew it..

See everyone knew Fifi was the sweetheart of old Herc the Heroic, strongest strongman since Atlas broke his back lifting the Bearded Lady way back in '49 - problem is Fifi was never the type of girl to stay faithful to one guy and Herc.. well Herc was never the kind of guy to take lightly to other guys touching his girl..

I was perfecting my custard-pie gimmick with the aid of Minty the Midget - who now goes by the name of Vince the Vertically-Challenged, you know how folks are these days.. anyway, where was I? oh yeah - so it was just a typical night in the Big Top..

Then it happened, Fifi came in - a bag of Cracker Jacks in one hand and a cotton-candy in the other, goddamn that woman thought of everything: needless to say I was soon convinced to follower her backstage.

"Oh Boinky, you don't know how long I've wanted to get you alone.." she said - at least I think she did, those damn Cracker Jacks were so distracting.. did I mention I love Cracker Jacks?

"Sure babe, whatever - you going to eat that?" I said, taking the Cracker Jacks and eating them, boy they tasted good.. I swear they were the best damn Cracker Jacks I ever tasted since I was a little kid and my mamma would make us Cracker Jacks - see, growing up as a clown was never easy but we always had plenty of Cracker Jacks..

"Let's get out of this place, Boinky - you and me.. we can get office jobs in the city and be free of all this circus stuff.." Fifi said.

"Sure babe, whatever - you going to eat that?" I replied, taking the cottoncandy - it wasn't that I was being rude or anything.. it's just you don't know what it's like being a clown, cottoncandy does strange things to a man..