User:Ethernator/Martin Cameron (footballer)

Martin Cameron (born 16 June 1978 in Dunfermline) is a Scottish football striker and skilled van driver.

Playing career

Despite being born with legs of differing lengths Cameron began his unexpected football career in 1997 with Alloa Athletic, where he was a big fan's favourite, to be precise Big Tina from the Bottom End; he poached 48 goals including two in the 1999 Scottish Challenge Cup final win for Alloa. The game finished 4-4 with Cameron scoring Alloa's third and fourth. Alloa won a 5 hour penalty shootout 5-4 with the frustrated linesman scoring the decisive penalty.

Martin formed unique strike partnerships with Willie Irvine and on loan Colin Nish from Dunfermline Arthritic. His innovative introduction of the three-legged striker, where the left leg of one striker is strapped to the right leg of the other, is remembered fondly for its entertainment value and played a significant role in him being appointed the first ever under 3's football ambassador.

After winning the Scottish Challenge Cup Alloa also gained promotion to the Scottish First Division. This meant that clubs north and south of the border had taken note of Cameron's goal scoring prowess and Alloa could not hold on to Martin, he was sold to Bristol Rovers for a club record fee of £1.75 and 11 pairs of football-boot laces.

Cameron was later quoted as saying that he had left Alloa for Bristol as he "had always dreamed of visiting Rio de Janeiro and the birthplace of Maradona".

Once recovered from his disappointment however he settled into his regular dug out spot, on one of his rare outings Martin suffered an ankle injury against Brentford and as a result, missed six weeks of the season. The silver lining being that when he was discharged from traction his legs were now the same length and he no longer run in ever-decreasing counter-clockwise circles.

He is now playing for east region junior side Tranent Juniors and fills his days teaching himself the euphonium and obsessively filling his white van with as many copies of Evening News as he can buy each evening thus entitling him to literally dozens of votes in the ever popular "Scottish Panda of the Week" poll.