User:Eskimospy

Hello, I added this text so that in my signature, the link is not red (so that people think I'm not a noob even though I am)

Anyway, here is a list I made:

Ways to get out of doing work

---

1. Build a portal to the fifth dimension (whoever is expecting work from you probably made a portal to the fourth dimention just so he/she could make sure you're not hiding from him/her).

2. Dye your hair pink so everyone thinks you're cool.

3. Inject yourself with the HIV virus so you can call in sick.

4. Eat Chicken McNuggets™ (for same effect as #3).

5. Tell whoever is expecting work from you a really funny April Fools Day joke, repeat this until it is time to go.

6. Yellow.

7. Kill yourself (recommended)

8. (Same as #6).

9. Build two wormholes and using Schozer Kleing's theory of relative speeds, you can now warp yourself to other galaxies. By doing this, you travel at incredible speeds and when you reach the speed of light, time will (according to Einstein's theory of relativity) stop for you. (Note: Inter-Galactic light-speed space rocket, particle accelerator, accelerometer, nuclear reactor, 40,000,000,000,000 kilograms of uranium, 6,000 kilograms of plutonium, heat of over 4,000,000,000,665,456,654,254,623,534 degrees centigrade, nuclear fission machine, Jesus, and 500 blackholes each 50,000 times larger than any black hole ever discovered are needed for this option.

10. Eliminate a relative or loved one and say you have a FUNeral to go to. _________________________________________________________________

You see! you have so many wonderful alternatives to spending 30 minutes to 1 hour of work! It is a good idea to use some of these alternative solutions if you are short of time.