User:Emmy H
Warning: SMACK DOWN.....
--Emmy H 16:13, 24 May 2008 (UTC)Emmy H
Emmy H is apprently a student at Wycliffe College,(and her best friends are anna dearden and beth grundy) but no-one belives hr because she is so small and I am sure that she served me at the counter of WHsmiths, nice gils I think she was from Poland... she is secretly a super hero and has a fetish of swiss chese and Gandhi... she has been enlightend and is now officially the youngest Buddah ever... She also hates people touchingthe side of her neck...She is a transended of Papa Smurf...she loves purple... and Terry Wogan...
Early Life...[edit | edit source]
Emmy was, in fact, assembled from a box of generic spare smurf parts (not hewn from a solid block of gay as previously suspected seven dwarfs) which the evil genius rowing coach, Jonny Garrow (hmmf)found in an abandoned boathouse of the Wycliffe sculling centre. Posessed of many superpowers, Emmy wass widely regarded as Garrow's finest work, until the double scull miracle of anna dearden and beth grundy came along.. and stole the spotlight with their supreme talent. She has 7 brothers: Tony, Dopey, Smackhead, George, Scott 2, Maddie, and Susan. Emmy is sister of Beatle-Botherer Heather Mills and knows the location of her missing leg. Emmy has been a member of So Solid, Blazin' Squad and a member of Tim Westwood's Bow Down and Kiss The Ring Club... please note that no jewelery is to be worn at this club.
Emmy was bought up near Princess Di, somewhere that probably has a 'shire' on the end. Although born with black hair, her parents, Chesney Hawkes and Robbie Williams were neglectful, and one day accidentally dropped her in the peroxide they were having a party in. This was witnessed by guest Elton John, who then wrote a song about it called "Sacrifice".
She ran away from her creator (Garrow.) at 14, unable to conceal her addiction to peroxide and cherry red doc martens any longer. She lived under a bridge for many years with Keith Richards (when not on tour) and Terry Wogan. It was here she met Sam Phipps, who was also struggling with doc marten addiction.
Powers...[edit | edit source]
1.Emmy can cure any illness, except the addiction of peroxide and doc martin that she suffers from .....
2. Emmy can produce, on demand, any flavour haribo whenever she wants...
4. She is immune to Fire based attacks, this is because he was born on Mercury. (this also gives him a healthy orange glow)
5. She can deflect the harmfull UV rays of any ginger apart from the gingerest ginger of all gingers...her beloved....Rob Camm <3...
Weaknesses...[edit | edit source]
1. A Emmy H is very strong and can only be beaten by a level 57 Pikachu
2. The only thing that can weaken the powers of Scott is Rob Camm because his hair is so ginger she cannot deflect it
! Camm also posesses the power to charm and seduceany girl under 4 ft 10...
3. Emmy is actually Sylar off Heroes and only dresses up as a man to hide her identlity and only Wycliffe students know what she really looks like, which many believe to be a cover up for his love affair with the Burser.
4. Scott can be weakened by constant use of the word 'it'. This word irritates her to the point of defeat just like the kights who say 'Ni!' off Monty Python and the Holy Grail...
== Personal Life...
==
Emmy H likes to wear her Lycra not only for rowing compatitions but doesnt look as good in it as anna and beth...
Emmy's long time life partner is her sidekick Connie. Despite their apparently open relationship, their at home relationship is known to be tempetuos with fights often breaking out over Connie's affairs with Dave Vitty from The Chris Moyles Show. Connie and Dave have their own house in the cotswolds whilst other super sidekick dogs like Lassie are having babies and travelling to New Zealand respectively.
Scott has been romatically linked to Albert Einstien, and the pair own a Luton love nest together.
Speculation has abounded that Emmy is infact the father of Ellie Southwell's unborn twins. This however is unlikely due to the fact that Ellie is a convicted lesbian and is occupied by Sam Dunn...
Trivia...[edit | edit source]
. Emmy once planted some magic beans in a field. The beans later sprouted, and grew into what we now call nathan.
. Emmy has five toes on each foot.
.Emmy once voluntarily ate her own digested christmas jumpers in a terrorist attack by the Goats Liberation Front.
She made Terry wogan pledge alligiance that every (EVERY) eurovision winner can sleep with him for 6 nights in the luxurious roma hotel in camden (yes even lordi!).
. Related to Leprechauns, some of the cast of Charmed are 16th cousins of hers
.Emmy was responsable for pioneering the 'fashion' style known as 'chav' since which there have been many attempts on his life. However it is not clear if those attempts were self induced as a cry for attention or if is genuine.
.Emmy was nearly banned from returning to Sweeden after calling the Sweedish version of Ross and Rachel "Dr. Death" and "The Tooth Fairy"
. She has never washed.
. She was resppnsable for neighbours moving fromm the BBC to Channel 5... what a disgrace
== Emmy's Unanswered Questions...
==
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?
3 . Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your arse?
5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob and I am an alcoholic'?
6. If you mated a bulldog and a shitsu, would it be called a bullshit?
7. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
8. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
9. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
10. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
11. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
12. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
15. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
16. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
17. What do you call male ballerinas?
18. Can blind people see in their dreams? Do they dream??
19. If Wile E.Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme crap, why couldn't he just buy dinner?
20. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
21. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
22. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
23. If a man is talking in the forest, and no woman is there to hear him, is he still wrong?
24. Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?
25. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
26. Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a haemorrhoid when it's in your ass?
27. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Do you have any query's? Because I do!...
== Emmy's useless facts..
==
The 3 most valuable brand names on earth are:- Malboro, Coca-Cola and Budweiser - in that order. Humans are the only primates that don't have pigment in the palms of their hands.
The sentence "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog." uses every letter in the alphabet.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
No word in the English dictionary rhymes with month, orange, silver and purple.
A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no-one knows why.
Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a "Friday the 13th."
The longest one-syllable word in the English language is screeched.
Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.
A pack-a-day smoker will on average lose 2 teeth, every 10 years.
When you sneeze, all bodily functions stop...even your heart.
Your feet are bigger in the afternoon than the rest of the day.
Life in the present[edit | edit source]
Emmy H is now back at Wycliffe College after getting kicked out of Sweeden and finishing her world tour of being smallest hero in the world. She has many friends and has recently announced that she had broken the barrior od the Gingers and has reportably been seeing with Ginger ex boyfriend Rob Camm.
She is no longer Jonny Garrows best creation as other scullers, beth grundy and anna dearden have taken high title at the Wycliiffe boat club and could beat her suberb timing up the slide, and strengh through the water. She has also lost her medals at Nat school and Nat Champs to sculling sensations anna and beth and has given up her dream in getting a gold Medal at the Olimpics for her rowing.... anna and beth are just to good.
She predicted the futre for Head of Ivy house as Elly Southwell...which came true (told you Elly) and is the priest at Cindy and Kieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeths wedding.