User:El Veintitres

Hey, El Veintitres, welcome to Uncyclopedia!

Welcome! Hello, El Veintitres, and welcome to Uncyclopedia! Thank you for your contributions. I hope you like the place and decide to stay. If not, the door's right over there... no, a little more to your left... yeah. Anyway, here are a few good links for people like you: Beginner's Guide Our Vanity Policies - why we don't care about your friends How to be funny and not just stupid If you read anything at all, make it the above three links. If you want to find out more about Uncyclopedia or need more help with something, try these: About Uncyclopedia and The five pliers of Uncyclopedia How to get started editing on uncyclopedia Help Pages - if you need help with a specific issue I hope you enjoy editing here and being an Uncyclopedian! Please sign your name on talk pages using four tildes (~~~~) or use the "sign" button () above the edit box. This will automatically produce your name and the date. If you want to write and don't know where to begin, consider contributing to Uncyclopedia's current colonization of the week, a group writing project to improve a single popular article. Anyone is welcome to contribute, so come help out! If the current colonization doesn't suit your fancy, then browse our rewrite and idea categories. We have lots of articles just sitting around for someone to improve, so don't be afraid - dive right in! Also, if you happen to know anyone who is Singaporean, tell me. I currently have a project going on and anyone is welcome to join, and help. Also, if you're feeling tired or something, just visit MyBrute for relaxtion! It's a fun game! If you need help, ask me on my talk page, ask at the Dump, or ask an administrator on their talk page. Additionally, the Uncyclopedian Adopt-a-Noob program is there to bring experienced editors straight to you. Simply leave a message on an adopter's talkpage to join. Again, welcome! Now, being less formal, you will see the above message in a lot of users' talk page. However, that does not mean this is an automated message. Really, I had to click on your user talk, copy-paste this stuff, and submit it with my own fleshy finger. I'm not a bot. I exist. Now, for some "personal", "non-official" advice: You may think some stuff that appears everywhere here is cool, like Oscar Wilde, Chuck Norris, Kitten Huffing, Russian Reversal, and Mr. T. Those things are completely overused and not really funny anymore. Among us sophisticated intelligentsia, we call this phenomenon cliché. Whatever, these subjects are worn out, near death, and in dire need of being huffed. Just please don't mention them unless you have a very, very good reason. Or if it's funny. And I mean funny. Another thing we veterans hate is Random Humor. Don't put chicken from Mars in an article about George Washington. You can put it in an article about, well, Chicken from Mars. That's it. Humor is a subtle subject. People will tell you that talking about excretes is just bad taste - count me among them - and others will find this kind of stuff the pinnacle of subversive irony. Just stay calm, have a good look at HTBFANJS, and try to learn what works best. No one here will ban you as long as you don't impose your non-conformist ideas on already created stuff. Start pages in userspace, first. By that, I mean if you wanted to create a page called "Flappy woo-ha," instead of creating the page Flappy woo-ha, create User:El Veintitres/Flappy woo-ha. That way, you'll have plenty of time to work on it and it won't be deleted or ICU'd. You can start a page in mainspace, just make damn sure what you put there is long enough and funny enough to not get huffed. Never recreate a deleted article. Never redo a reverted edit. Never. There are a lot of links I just put on your page. This is the most important one. HTBFANJS is important, but the mybrute link is better. You can steal templates and welcome people, but don't forget to but the subst: inside the template. Like {{subst:Welcome}}. I used User:Zheliel/welcome. A lot better, it includes these fun linkies. And, finally, don't be afraid. We don't eat people. Usually.

- Mr Zhe-mel-talki-signe-singaporel-bling ^Brute! ~03:00/6 of July