User:Duty
MASS SUICIDE OF CATS QUESTIONS EXPERTS!!!
Many cats have chosen to end their lives over the past eleven weeks. This world-wide epidemic is thought to have started with a kitty-liter ninja also known as BOB SAGET!
Shown here is the culprit himself out for a round of beach volleyball. His fetish for sand is what started his twisted idea to steal every cats sandbox in the North-East-Pakastanian Region.
Many cats have been forced to divulged themselves into emotional and enigmatic swings of life. This trend is labeled as being "Emotional" or "Emo" or "Gay whiny bitch". Many cats have taken their own lives when in this tough life. Many of the cats believe that they can relieve their stress and worries by cutting their thieghs with razor blades, or by blowing their brains out. This "emo" cutting cult has spread the kitty aids throughout the North-East-Pakastanian region.
The authorities believe that BOB SAGET has a partner in his kitty-liter-box thievery. They have many clues that lead right to Matt Damon a less known member of the KKK. The source of his evil emotions are due to his eye being half shut and him looking like an idiot causing him to be shunned in the North-East-Pakastanian region. Also they believe it has something to do with his extreme hate of black cats because they are so black.
Through it all, helping hands have reached out to help the crippled kitty minds. The organization is called the Cat Assistance Topic Organization, also known as C.A.T. Their attempts to save the disgruntled cats have been going well. Although what they provide would soothe most sane souls, some others still crack under the stress. We hope this epidemic will end soon.
