User:DeletedUser0002/NEW ARTICLE YEAH! (with Mattsnow and friends)

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At Uncyclopedia we'd like to introduce you to this, the inaugural set of interviews with the genitalia of US Presidential Candidates. Although there have been numerous individual interviews with specific political dicks in the past this series represents the first occasion when ALL the squiggy-parts of the 2016 Presidential hopefuls will be interviewed collectively. We are sure the cultural significance will be remembered and will provide historic record on an important topic.

Marco Rubio's Bald-headed Yogurt-slinger[edit | edit source]

The pork-nudger of US Senator Marco Rubio, reclining casually in a very relaxed manner, proved to be a thoughtful member. Still youthful and slightly tanned, he hasn't yet developed the swarthy, wizened look of some of the other candidate's genitalia. Our interview took place at the Ocean Key Resort and Spa in Key West, though still only in March the weather was unusually warm for the time of year and Senator Rubio's junk had taken some time out after a relaxing jalousie to speak with us.

Interviewer: Sir, how would you like us to refer to you?
Little Marco: The Rubio Pocket Rocket? The Latino Stallion? Little Marco will do.

The D[edit | edit source]

The D is the nickname applied to Donald Trump's purple-headed soldier, named so because his name is Donald and naming his purple snake D makes sense to let people know of its owner, as it sometimes runs away from him.

In fact, I have it that just now we have found the D running through the forest. He says if we catch him, we can hold him for an interview.

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This went on for a while.

Ben Carson's Prime Alabama Black Snake[edit | edit source]

With the second most impressive member amongst the candidate and the only genitals of colour

Hilary Rodham Clinton's WTF?[edit | edit source]

The interviewing team were especially keen to speak with Senator Clinton's genitals as the only female representative standing for office, but right from the beginning of the meeting we were taking aback. On the table was the wrinkled remains of a phallus preserved in formaldehyde solution within a glass jar. Previous to this the team had speculated as to what would be revealed, a number of us placed money on a gaping yaw, given the size of Chelsea's macrocephalic head. Whilst debating the matter Hilary's genitalia was ushered into the room beneath a stylish blue pencil shirt. Following the big reveal the team was caught between a mixture of shock and knowing acceptance, we nodded at each other for a while, at the revelation of the most substantial prick out of all the candidates.

Interviewer: So, what's with the jar?
Clinton's Wang: Oh! That's Bubba's, I've just kept it purely for sentimental reasons.