User:Deathcoreykillkill
Corey "The Balls" Van Zant is a controversial guitar player from Weedtown, MA. He plays guitar so fast that you don't remember any of his music from the 1980's. Considering he was approximately -6 years old when he made his first solo album, he was quite a prodigy. He owns you and is your biological father as a result of sleepingwith your mom.
Early Career[edit | edit source]
I was lying when I said he had a music career. He had a metal concept album entitled "Pastor of Muppets", but Lars Ulrich and Kermit the Frog then sued him. Metallica got rich (and sold-out.) Kermit kept it real until The Cookie Monster (Metallica's replacement after the death of Cliff "Jesus" Burton Christ.) raped and killed kermit, whos last words was "It's not easy being raped ftw"
Dating Life (Sad Part Is This Is Actually True)[edit | edit source]
......LMFAO (to be updated)
Post Music Career[edit | edit source]
Corey then converted to Satanism upon finding out Satan was his biological father. One day Satan inspired him to open up a coffe shop. He then utilized this to dominate America as we know it.