User:DJ Irreverent/Reagan v. Megatron
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Fred: Look what I got for Christmas. A FULLY AUTOMATIC, TALKING, WALKING, GENUINE, ROBOTIC, ELECTRIC SCALE MODEL MEGATRON WITH PNEUMATIC BLASTERS AND BONUS HAT AND MATCHING POLKA-DOT DRESS!!!!
Billy: Yeah well I got a.. a.. um.. er.. The Reagan Diaries, a complete retrospective on the Reagan years with full economic analysis from none other than Nobel prize winning economist Robert Solow... Yeah, beat that.
Fred: Wha?
Billy: Yeah, beat it.
Fred: Megatron could whoop Reegun's ass.
Billy: Na-ah!
Fred: Ya-ha!
Billy: Na-ah!
Fred: Ya-ha, he could just blow him up with one of his rockets. Like "Nyooooowww BOOOOOMMM".
Billy: Na-ah, Reagan could just shoot that down with his 160 billion dollar, state of the art ground and space-based Strategic Defense Initiative systems. Like the rockets wouldn't even reach him.
Fred: But.. but.. but.. you know Megatron is cooler, ya just don't wanna say it.
Billy: Na-ah Reagan is way better.
Round 1 - Economic Agenda[edit | edit source]
Billy: Like, Reagan took on both Dr. Mestic Spending and T.A.X at the same time and slashed them both with his sword of economic reform.
Fred: That's nothing. Remember when Megatron defeated the whole evil professor convention singlehandedly. He was like all "boom, boom, boom, ka-cha, ka-cha" with his mega-ultra ray.
Billy: Reagan can beat that. He like made his own system of economics, combining re-juiced margarine tax rates and lower guvament spending, and used this to blast Inflatron and Unemploy-man back to the stone-age. He was all like "Boom, ka-pow, Government is not the solution to our problems."
Fred: But does Reagan have lasers in his arms? No!
Billy: Pffft, that sucks. How is he going to repair stagflation; laser public confidence, not likely. Did Megatron increase defense spending by 40% from 1981 to 1985? I don't think so... he couldn't even increase it by 10%.
Fred: Who needs increased defense spending when you gotta massive canon as an arm? See, Megatron is cooler!
Billy: Oh yeah a cannon arm can really protect the whole free world.
Fred: But it did on all those episodes of Transformers... and TV is always right.
Billy: My dad says the media is full of liberal lies.
Fred: Ok. So Reagan is better at economics, but who cares about economics when you can fly.
Winner: Reagan
Round 2 - Foreign Relations[edit | edit source]
When Dr. OPEC stole all the oil, all Reagan had to do was change a bit of legislation and he gave even more back!
Yeah, Megatron would'a beat them up until they gave over the oil. Reagan was a pussy.