User:Cathode Ray Tube
The Sea Pig[edit | edit source]
Here is a short introduction to the majesty of God's most cherished creature, the sea pig. The sea pig is like a transparent slug made of jelly that crawls on the sea bed and does unholy things that one can only see in their darkest dreams.
Physical Characteristics[edit | edit source]
The sea pig is the only perfect being on the Earth. It shares one, multipurpose orifice, through which it eats, defecates and does Lord-knows what else. There is a tiny fish which lives in the orifice of the sea pig for protection. Imagine the life of this fish, now hit your head on a table until you've stopped imagining it. Stop it I said. The sea pig has many long and puffy legs that protrude from it's body. These are used for walking. The sea pig also uses them to rip off and devour the faces of other animals. One way to tell a sea pig apart from a normal pig is to bite it, if it shrieks and runs away, or tastes of sausages, it is a normal pig. If it explodes in a wave of quivering mucus, it is a sea pig. Try it.
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Emotional Characteristics[edit | edit source]
The sea pig is not the most talkative of all the marine animals. In fact the closest it ever comes to a meaningful conversation is emitting foul gases from it's multi-orifice.