User:Cat the Colourful/Rahb we miss u

 ______    _____   _   _   _____   _____
|   _  |  |  _  | | | | | |  _  | /     \
|  |_| |  | |_| | | |_| | | |_| | |     |
|  __  |  |  _  | |  _  | | ____| |     |
| |  \ \  | | | | | | | | |  _  | \_____/
| |   \ \ | | | | | | | | | |_| | /     \
|_|    \_\|_| |_| |_| |_| |_____| \_____/

I... I think I...
have to tell you something...

I, I just want to tell you how much we all love you or, er,
at least how much I love you, and, and,
how DEPRESSED I really am for that you,
weren't at irc with me today, and, that, *sob*
I just, I just want to,
to tell you how much I love you and how DEAR you are to me,
and that the world wouldn't be the same
without YOU, my dear,
and so,
I hope you never, my immortal internet friend, NEVER
WOULD DIE, because,
THAT WOULD SUCK, LIKE,
SO FUCKING MUCH, and the SCARS that my HEART would receive,
would be
TOO FUCKING MUCH,
BUT
I have a plan to be with you forever
and
FUCKING ALWAYS,
and I bet you'd like to hear it,
so I'm going to say it now,
so,
I thought that I would take a plane to California,
search your house and break in,
go to your hour room,
and
DRUG you,
BEAT you,
KIDNAP you,
MUMMIFY you, and
LOCK you DOWN in my BASEMENT in Finland,
so whenever I feel sad and lonely, I could see your face again,
and never feel depressed again,
and even if it would mean the death of you,
I would still do it,
because without you...
...there is no life

...dammit...

It would have been just easier to everybody if you
would have just come to irc and talk shit with me
and would have pretended you'd care about me
and I wouldn't have had to write this shitty love-letter
and watched some fucking House instead
while pretending I care about irc
and the people like you.

Bitch.

I had a dream that I impregnated you
Pretty freaky, isn't it?
Or maybe that's my ex
Goddamn, do I love you!

I'll never forget how we talked about Serj Tankian on Irc
And I know Matthlock would like talking to you
Because both you and him are Zappa fanatics.

I could get helpful tips from Matthlock on how to find you, RAHB
Because you and Matthlock live on the west coast
In fact, maybe sometimes you can hear him singing The Clash

Actually I would like to write a love poem about Matthlock
He's a good writer
He has a sexy toothbrush
He's a good music-listener
And his kisses are like sugar

Actually I don't need you
Maybe I can go for Matthlock
Matthlock is a cool cat 
And who could deny the turquoise gleam from his eyes?

Actually, we should elect Matthlock as new RAHB!
Matthlock isn't exactly like you but he's close enough.

I totally disagree Matthlock!

See, 2 out of 3 ain't bad

Now, let's talk about IFYMB!
There's a guy who really knows how to impress chickens
With his vocab skills and tiny windmills
It's no suprise RAHB feels less superior

But when we are together at night
We have a relationship better than all the rest
Kissing and fisting, moaning and groaning
The moon looks down on us, watching our sweaty bodies make love

This is getting extremely off topic

Anyway, aside from what MagicBus and IFYMB! say,
You are the best, RAHB.
We miss you.
Come back to IRC
or die.

Dedicated to RAHB 1990-????