User:Cat the Colourful/Dear president, ban tuesday

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Proof of what Tuesdays do to human minds.

Dear President of the United States,

Am I glad that you (hopefully) have received this letter! I want you to know about a certain matter that concerns many of us people and we want you to do something about it. My name doesn't matter at all, because I'm talking for half of the world population and that is why I'm doing this anonymously. So if you take this as a joke and want to accuse me from wasting your time, you CAN'T. You should have to accuse all the people of my city, Austin, Texas. Now that makes it hard to track me, RIGHT?! If you want to thank me or send me money or something, you can send a response to the address found at the end of the letter. Thank you.

Anyway, as I said before, I'm on a very important mission. You see, I was thinking yesterday how much Tuesdays actually suck. You know, one those days that come after weekend? March, Tuesday, Wendy'sday and Red Nose Day. And yeah, I had good grades at college, thank you, mister President. So, what we want you do, is to ban tuesday. Or just delete it from existence. Yeah. That's what we want you do. You see, Tuesday really isn't a day we need for anything. I mean, what important ever happened at Tuesdays? Ever? Yeah. Nothing! Then why do we need it? WE DON'T!

Isn't it little weird we have a day that we aren't using for anything? Yeah, there REALLY is a day in the middle of the week which we don't use for anything! Tuesday is just a waste of time! If we'd get rid of Tuesday, imagine how much time we could spare... We could use the time we get from Tuesdays to, I don't know, maybe to increase a day's length by few hours? I mean, if we increase the length of weekends we can increase the happiness of the good american workers, the men who held this country together. More drinking, better working, as an old chinese saying goes. No work without play, you know.

So what do you think? Should Tuesday be banned? Just THINK of all the time we'd save by doing that. And I'm going to be really mad if you don't accept our wish. I mean, REALLY mad. You don't know how mad I can get. Just test me. Try me! Don't you have the balls to do that? Huh? HUH?!

So, we hope to hear back from you. Humbly,

the citizens