User:CaptainFalcon
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This user has been on Uncyclopedia for 14 years, 9 months and 7 days. |
Captain Falcon[edit | edit source]
Captain Falcon is the captain of the blue falcon, and briefly the millennium falcon where he grew a really long beard and went under the alias of chewbaca. he is a race car driver and bounty hunter. he owns 3 islands off the coast of Indonesia where he practices driving his cars and doing other awesome related activities. in his day Captain Falcon was a real ladies man, scoring on average 3 bitches/hoes a night. he has now settled down with his smoking hot wife Samus. although he dose still enjoy the occasional slut on the side. Captain Falcon suffers from extreme anger problems and has been known to falcon punch someone for something as little as mispronouncing his name. to help his anger problems Captain Falcon signed up to be in the super smash bros game series, where he met his wife Samus, after beating the living shit out of her. after retiring from video games Captain Falcon got a job in an abortion clinic. he was ashamed of this career choice and did it under the fake name of "Muhammad smith". He was once almost a farther until he accidentally gave his own wife an abortion by falcon punching her in the stomach. he now stays at home speeding his days writing dirty stories and editing uncyclopedia