User:Cajek/gym

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cajek's mental push-ups feel free to join in

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19	Stephen King, after working as a low level blow job enforcer at a Southern jeans factory, broke into mathematics and rock and roll simultaneously, shocking the world from its tupor before writing books about homicidal dogs, homicidal clown, homicidal cars, homicidal lamps, homicidal pens, homicidal cellphones, and, most recently, homicidal scissors.
1	Spork the Movie, produced by the bald, pointy headed Kevin Moviemaker, got him arrested soon afterwards for a shocking portrayal of sporks. Millions have gathered, protesting for his release.
2	The connection between Atlantis, Mario, and the Teletubbies is much stronger than previously thought. It involves a highly charged trident and a highly charging lawyer with an odd, but entirely coincidental, preference for baths filled with WATER...
3	Anime and classical painting have several similarities, including a penchant for being hunted by the far right and their media army. We have already lost Cell: The Magic Child, an anime show that lasted 90 seasons, and Bo Jangle's Mother, a painting from Manet's "Bo Jangles" period.
4	Vanitypedia, started by "MyAmazonWishListIsAwesome" in 2008, covers many topics, including this cast of 8 characters, written in myspace form, and 600,000,000 other vanity pages, most famous of which is "JOHNNY IS A FAGGG" and "HI!"
5	For making a badly photoshopped image, try to have a healthy breakfast of broccoli tied with a rubber band with what looks like half-eaten fish-sticks from last night and an unknown yellow substance. Without this, 6-flags guy and Afrogoat would never exist. Coincidentally, the Badly Photoshopped Singers are headed by these two wiley characters, and are considered extremely stupid and dangerously QVFD.
6	[note: oh lord a Hitler picture] Maniac Clown industries presents: KILLER FRIED OCTOPUS! Killer Fried Octopus: The only, ONLY, octopus approved by Hitler! DISCLAIMER: Octopus is not dead yet, and may just attack unprovoked. Eat at KILLER FRIED CHICKEN at your own risk. Hitler.
7	The Sparkly Kiss of Death, the latest 007 movie, pits our hero, the Chinese stereotype sidekick, against the Mad Stop Sign Bomber, recently escaped from Bristol's Minimum Security Prison. With only a broken helicopter to guide him, can the Chinese stereotype sidekick save the day in time? OR WILL HE BE STOPPED?!??!??!?
8	The Honda '08 is surrounded by controversy. Using an unknowing retarded child to advertise their product, Honda has apologized to all their customers, sending each purchaser a mint condition Xenu 3 collector's edition PS3 game, in which the main character, Honda battles the evil onslaught of oversized American sedans.
9	A year after the joke got old, Michael Richards has to apologize yet again. After paying for the newest Link game in 5,000 pennies, Mr. Richards started going on a rant about video game nerds, claiming that they are all virgins and that their parents divorced because they couldn't get a life. Mr. Richards was seen apologizing for an hour straight on Larry King.
10	[note: oh jesus] After a short career as a wrestling referee, Darth Vader went into war referee-ing and finally Sheep Sheering after losing his mask in the middle of a tense battle.
11	Condoleeza Rice, here pictured in her traditional Empire garb, was famous for using little known smiley-face mutations in her lengthy emails. When angry, which was often, she would evoke the three eyed "smiley of anger". When she was feeling frisky, which was also often, she would use the obnoxious "frisky smiley", sending the wrong message all across the 50 states. If she was both angry and frisky, the results would be disastrous, as proved when the head of FEMA ignored Hurricane Katrina's aftermath for three weeks after receiving such an email.
12	Kiss me, you band geek! a poem: Kiss me you music hound, you band geek, that is as cool as a dirt mound, as tough as a flower, meek. Wrap your tiny arms around me, don't let my lips lonely be.
13	The Secret Seven, an infamous group of vandals, have gone so far as to make fun of capital punishment, and to launch an attack on an unsuspecting chatroom.
14	ATTENTION CONSUMERS! Did you know that a recent study suggests Beef Jerky, and beef jerky pills, are the "ultimate pac man to avoid a disaster"? As the beef jerky injects itself into your bloodstream, cloudy, rainy days will be no more! Think of beef jerky like little pac men that avoid disaster, cleaning up not only your arteries but your colon and your delusions as well!
15	French self-defense techniques are, contrary to the stereotype, very effective. This man, after being "self-defended" regressed to an earlier age, only able to draw in crayon to convey his feelings. Not to mention the pain he felt in his woo-has.
16	Saint Taklahaymanot, patron saint of myspace pages, urges Maria77362 to not use a navigation box that is barely readable, and to not take pictures of herself in the fucking bathroom anymore. Seriously, Maria77362, your black make-up looks even more like crap in that light, you gothy goth goth.
17	in a poll of 70,000 adults, it was found that penises, not Oscar Wilde or Quebec, were the most interesting topic of discussion among the three. Baltimore University spent $200,000 on the research, and are now hunting down the researchers with extreme prejudice, intent on applying the pictured chastity belt.