User:BumXxxo/Wallhax

Wallhacking is a new, and much practiced form of videogame embodied martial arts. Wallhax consists of some stupid noob glitching and turning into a sort of demi-god, and blasting fools through walls, which is totally not fair. It is much detested by all forms of regular, honest, down-to-earth gamers, but has become increasingly more common as games become much easier to infiltrate, divide, and conquer. WallHaxers are terrifying individuals indeed.

Here is an example of a feline using Matrix skills/wallhax to get a ten kill streak.

Wallhax and you

One who has been struck by the wallhax will not realize such until they are wasted from the wall in front of them. Often cases, the WallHaxer will scream or type jibes such as: "You just got pwned by the N00B@z00R!!!11!1" Or the more common: "WALLHAX! HAHAHAHA!" Upon being struck with the wallhax, one can expect to have the same reaction as someone stricken by a veneral disease. Quite often, a gamer may drop his/her/its Cheetos-dusted controller and weep like a lonely baby, for the act of being pwned by someone who has so much unfairly acquired skill is like being struck down by God because he was bored, and didn't feel like doing anything else. Usually, extreme anger towards the WallHaxer will grow deep within you, and you will begin to grow very large muscles and your skin will turn a deep shade of green...

Even the omnicient Christian gods fall prey to wallhax.

How to cope with Wallhax

Rarely are there rehab centers for those who fall under the prey of wallhax. However, there are multiple ways to deal with the pain and coping with the brutal aftereffects of you being violently pwned.

Suicide

Suicide is generally the most effective way to die honorably after falling to the WallHaxers. That, and your girly screaming about hacking on Ventrilo will not be missed. One of the most popular ways to die is to choke yourself with your controller cord, or simply bash yourself in the face with it. This is achieved to the full extent if you turn on your webcam before you begin the self-bashing.

Cut and Run

Another common form of dealing with the dishonor of being wallhacked is cutting and running. This occurs when someone, usually owned to the full extent of every other gamer in a said room, grabs his shit and tries to flee from the game lobby, to avoid being verbally abused by his opponents. In some cases, the escapee is tracked down and punished for his wrongdoings, and illegitimate trash talk.

Domestic Abuse

If suicide or cutting and running is not applicable to you, because you are too weak or dishonorable, you will be kicked by Leonidas into the pit of hell, with a valiant scream. "THIS...IS...WALLHAX!!!111!1!!" To be truthful, this will not happen to you, unless you happen to be dicking around near a cliff somewhere. What is more likely: you will become very angry with your Xbox 360 and begin to beat your wife or boyfriend or Russian mail order bride, who happens to be named Rasputin. Often times this will end with a short period of making up, but don't count on it. You aren't that lucky. Only WallHaxers get all the girls.

How To Spot a WallHaxer

Usually, you will not see a WallHaxer until it is far too late to save your pitiful soul. However, those clever or just goddamned lucky enough to live long enough to see one, may notice strange limbs or firearms protruding from the wall. In most appearances, bullets will come flying from the wall to pwn you and your idiot teammates, or maybe just you, because you don't have any friends to be on your team.

RIGHT THERE ONE IS! RUN NUBS, RUN!